"I get knocked down, but I get up again"

Or in my case – ball of FUCKING RAGE.

I don’t know where it came from or why it’s here, but I AM ABSOLUTELY RAGING.

Everything makes me want to scream.

Have you ever gone through this?

I don’t have the patience I’m very used to having.

I’ve worked in offices and mostly in a customer-service focused office role (reception, call center, serving customers in a Government organisation etc)…so I’ve had to be very patient indeed – and for long periods of time. I’m usually chill with it. I figure that whoever is shouting/screaming at the time will eventually calm down. I hum in my head to myself or think of outfits I love until whoever I’m with stops behaving badly. Then I can help, and we both end up pretty pleased.

Not so anymore.

Now I’m PISSED OFF about EVERYTHING.

A lady came in about a foreign bird she saw in the park.

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT ME TO DO WITH THAT KNOWLEDGE???

“It’s beak is much shorter than the other birds” she reported, “It’s weird”.

Instead of my usual response “Oh gosh. That’s umm…Interesting”or “I’ll err…make a note of that, thank you for letting us know” (mental note to myself – scrap that note as soon as this loony bin leaves the office) I said to the lady “How does this bird personally affect you, then?”

She was taken aback.

To be honest, I think we both were.

“Excuse me?” she asked, frowning.

Surprising myself, I repeated it: “How does seeing that bird personally affect you, Madam?”

“Well, I don’t know” she answered.

“Then that makes two of us, doesn’t it?” I shot back.

OMG JD – you are out of control.

“I don’t know what you mean” she responded.

“Madam, you are at the Council office. We are here to help and assist you with Council matters. So. I am asking HOW DID THIS (STUPID FUCKING BIRD FOR FUCK’S SAKES) BIRD PERSONALLY AFFECT YOU?”

“Well…it doesn’t” she eventually admitted.

“Then I think we’re done here” and I nodded towards the door.

OMG JD. You’re going to get fired. Definitely getting fired.

“Well I never!” and she picked up her handbag with a huff and left.

Neither have I.

And you know what?

IT FELT GREAT.

I was PUMPED!

Come at me, next person – let’s go for 2 out of 2.

I’m angry about everything. I’m tired all the time. I’m constantly hungry but not satisfied. I’m working really long hours and the more I work alongside “Cupcake Kara” (CK), the more PISSED OFF I’m getting with her.

These things make me want to strangle her with my bare hands:

She sighs LOUDLY throughout the day. All day. Every damn day. It’s an attention sigh. Cupcake Kara (CK) will do it over and over again until I eventually give in and ask “Are you ok?” and then she’ll launch into a tirade about her ex-husband and what he’s been doing since they’ve (recently) split up.

While I’m working, she’ll put her phone in my face and show me photos of who her ex is dating because she’s stalking him online. FFS!!! I’m WORKING here!!!

CK gets very caught up in minor, stupid, fucking irritating things. For instance, we’ll have 7 people at the counter waiting to be served. CK will IGNORE ALL OF THEM (I’ll instantly step up to serve as many as I can) while she fiddles with the button on the photocopier.

“Kara…can I have your help, please?” I’ll ask, overwhelmed and anxious.

“I don’t understand why this weird button is on the machine” she’ll reply.

A WEIRD BUTTON. REALLY??? WHILE THERE ARE 5 PEOPLE WAITING TO BE SERVED??? You’re not even USING the FUCKING MACHINE, you’re concerned about a button you will probably NEVER FUCKING PRESS!!!

CK was wondering about an address she couldn’t find on Google yesterday. FOR SEVEN FUCKING HOURS. CK didn’t do ANY work, No. This address was more important. “15 Wright street, Janet – it doesn’t exist”.

I was absolutely exhausted – manning phones and seeing customers, asking them all to please wait a moment while answering calls and trying to lodge requests for customers online.

“15 Wright street…” CK repeated. She does this A LOT and will repeat whatever it is she’s fucking stuck on this time until I eventually bite and ask her what the FUCK she’s doing.

“Why do you need that address?” I finally asked – as I was photocopying for someone and letting a courier into our side door; giving him a thumbs up as he mouthed “thank you” to me for letting him in.

“Because it’s where my friend from high school used to live but I can’t find it just now”.

YOU WASTED ALMOST ALL FUCKING DAY FOR SOMETHING THAT WASN’T EVEN WORK RELATED AND YOU HAVE THE FUCKING GALL TO ASK ME ABOUT IT???

SERIOUSLY???

I can’t, guys. I literally cannot.

I can’t cope.

CK drives me ABSOLUTELY NUTS and I want to tape her mouth shut with gaffa tape every time she opens it because I know something FUCKING RIDICULOUS will come out and I can’t bear it.

SHE PISSES ME OFF SO MUCH!!!

Because CK has made me so angry for so long, I’m starting to hate everything she does, guys.

I hate her clickety-clacking on the keyboard. She types on that thing like it owes her money. I hate the fucking sound of it.

I hate the way she says “OK” to herself – about 20,000 times a day. I hate that CK pronounces it “Ock-eh“. I think if I was given a dollar for every time CK said it, I would have paid the house off last week and could buy a new car this week.

I hate that she chews noisily with her mouth open. SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH WHEN YOU CHEW FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, KARA!!!

I hate that she interrupts MY DAY with HER STUPID FUCKING QUESTIONS.

“Who do you think deals with our elderly customers? Hmm?”

AT A GUESS, CK – I’D PROBABLY GUESS THE COORDINATOR FOR SENIOR CITIZENS, HELEN. SHE INTRODUCED HERSELF SEVERAL TIMES IN THE FIRST FEW WEEKS WE WERE HERE, DICKHEAD!!!!

AAAAAGHHHHHHHHH!!!

*hyperventaliting*

I’m going to go down for murder one of these days. I can feel it.