Panicked

I left work on Friday with a beautiful card of encouragement and love signed by everyone in my office, a little gift wrapped in flamingo paper (I’m hoping it’s a candle, I love candles) and hope in my heart that now I was going to get the rest and time to think and reset thatContinue reading “Panicked”

What would Dad say?

Well. It could go one of 2 ways, really. Whenever I came to Dad for advice, he’d either be compassionate and wise with some really good advice, or get really angry/annoyed at what I was asking about (maybe it was in the way I asked?) and would give me very sarcastic, hurtful advice…and possibly aContinue reading “What would Dad say?”

It will be enough.

October 10, 2016 First of all, the good news: I don’t have Borderline Personality Disorder. A very high-up Medical “fellow” (who was a small, black African woman – go figure?) told me I didn’t have it after interviewing me for an hour at the Hospital last week. I’m more than happy to take her wordContinue reading “It will be enough.”

Surprisingly, I’M the toxic one

I was stood in line at the Bakery yesterday in Maylands, eyeing up my favourite vanilla cannoli’s in the display fridge. Mmmmmm. Bob Dylan’s “Hey Mr Tambourine Man” started playing and before I knew it, my heart was aching and tears were rolling down my cheeks. My Dad loved Dylan. Since my Dad died, IContinue reading “Surprisingly, I’M the toxic one”

Sore thumb

October 23, 2019 Something about being in Coles supermarket sets my bum off. I don’t know what it is. Probably because my ass hates me and wants to poo when I’m the furtherest away from a working toilet possible. This time, a toilet was only about 500 meters away. Lucky me. So I was inContinue reading “Sore thumb”

JD. For the love of God…REST!!!

October 19, 2019 Before I start complaining, I’ve had a really good few days off. It’s been so good to wake up when I naturally am awake and not in a panic when my alarm goes off for work. It’s been nice to do a ‘full makeup’ look on my face because I can takeContinue reading “JD. For the love of God…REST!!!”

Carving out time for myself

October 16, 2019 My whole life, I feel like I’m caging myself. Watching what I say.Being careful to be soft, quiet and pleasing.Being what everyone needs me to be so much I forget who I actually am.I am so locked into being ‘liked’ that I spend my life – my whole life – playing whatever role isContinue reading “Carving out time for myself”

Bruised reed

October 16, 2019 I feel like a bruised reed in a rice patty field. Just barely hanging in there as the water rushes past me. My roots desperately gripping the watery soil and when the wind blows…well…it’s just a matter of time before I come apart completely. Just a matter of time before I loseContinue reading “Bruised reed”

Make lemons from lemonade

October 13, 2019 Have you ever actually tried making lemonade? IT. IS. A. BASTARD. To get the quantities just right and to make it something palatable and not disgusting takes work. A lot of work. So, to whoever said “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade” – SCREW YOU, MAN. What if you don’t evenContinue reading “Make lemons from lemonade”

Broken

October 10, 2019 Yesterday, I sat in a window alcove on one of the busiest streets in the city and cried. I didn’t just cry, by the way – I wailed. I howled. Tears didn’t fall daintily down my cheeks – they poured. I didn’t care. This is me at my lowest point. I have justContinue reading “Broken”