I used to be afraid. All the time. I used to speak in a careful, quiet voice and be agreeable and sweet so that noone would dislike me and I could avoid conflict as often as possible.
I grew. I learnt. I changed. I evolved.
When the ONE thing that I avoided for all my life finally came at me when I was 32…and an ENTIRE CHURCH community DISLIKED what I had done…there was a freedom in that loneliness.
I was set free from the chains.
I finally stepped out of the dark shadow I forced myself to live in and I lifted my face to the sun.
It changed everything I thought I knew about myself.
My whole 32nd year of life was my FAVOURITE thing in the whole entire world…because I allowed myself to be ME. Warts and all.
I stopped wishing I was white.
I stopped wishing I had long blonde hair.
I embraced MYSELF and who I was and I LOVED every part of me.
I embraced my caramel skin.
I conditioned my curls and enjoyed how they spiralled and bounced as I walked. As I DANCED.
I lost A TONNE weight.
I became SEXY AS FUCK.
I woke EVERY. SINGLE. MORNING. With PURPOSE.
I need to get back to that. I need to live my 45th year of life in the same way.