Who I used to be

I used to be afraid. All the time. I used to speak in a careful, quiet voice and be agreeable and sweet so that noone would dislike me and I could avoid conflict as often as possible.

I grew. I learnt. I changed. I evolved.

When the ONE thing that I avoided for all my life finally came at me when I was 32…and an ENTIRE CHURCH community DISLIKED what I had done…there was a freedom in that loneliness.

I was set free from the chains.

I finally stepped out of the dark shadow I forced myself to live in and I lifted my face to the sun.

It changed everything I thought I knew about myself.

My whole 32nd year of life was my FAVOURITE thing in the whole entire world…because I allowed myself to be ME. Warts and all.

I stopped wishing I was white.

I stopped wishing I had long blonde hair.

I embraced MYSELF and who I was and I LOVED every part of me.

I embraced my caramel skin.

I conditioned my curls and enjoyed how they spiralled and bounced as I walked. As I DANCED.

I lost A TONNE weight.

I became SEXY AS FUCK.

Enjoying being MYSELF

I woke EVERY. SINGLE. MORNING. With PURPOSE.

I need to get back to that. I need to live my 45th year of life in the same way.

Just…how?

Hmm.

3 responses to “Who I used to be”

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