Originally posted on Freeman's Front Porch Musings:
Yesterday made a year that I lost my dad. I shed many tears along with my mother and siblings. My dad was one of a kind. He was a quiet man who loved to laugh. Dad loved old cars, old tools, and old ways. He loved my…
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You don’t know…so shut up
The people who tell me most to “cheer up” and “smile, your Dad wouldn’t want you to be sad” are the ones: 1. Who never met my Dad so how would you know what he wants? How fucking dare you? 2. Still have very much alive Dad’s so can’t begin to understand the depth ofContinue reading “You don’t know…so shut up”
An afternoon with Moiz
May 1st 2020 Some people you just connect with instantly – and they become your friend for the rest of your life. I’ve had a few of those moments in my life. Christabel was one of them. We met in the Uni “Megalab” (a huge room filled with computers for Uni students to use). IContinue reading “An afternoon with Moiz”
It doesn’t get easier
It’s been about 5 weeks since I lost my Dad. I don’t feel any less lost, hurt, devastated or shocked than I did when I first got that God-awful horrendous phone call from my poor Mom telling me that Dad had unexpectedly passed away in the early hours of that morning. When I think backContinue reading “It doesn’t get easier”
My Dad has been cremated
They move fast over there in the Philippines. My Dad passed away. He got moved to the morgue. He then got cremated. Somewhere in the Philippines my Dad is in a container. My Dad!!! 😠I can’t even…
Fight, flight…or Freeze
I’ve started a new job working in a Government department. My job is to support the team that write/process very important documents for Ministers in our State, so it’s an important role and I’m doing my best to learn it and be a good fit for my new team. I’ve changed jobs so often thatContinue reading “Fight, flight…or Freeze”
My own Oasis
February 19, 2020 OMG THIS IS BLISS. This must be what cocaine feels like – just feeling so happy, whole and pretty damn good. No wonder people get addicted. Today is day 3 out of 4 days of rest. As you know (I love you for reading along with me), I’ve been in a veryContinue reading “My own Oasis”
Shaking
February 16, 2020 I’m sitting here shaking because I’m under SO MUCH PRESSURE. I’m scared, you guys. I’m freaked out because I want to die. I want to kill myself ALL THE TIME and the reason why just boggles my mind – it’s because I want to rest. I want to NOT do housework orContinue reading “Shaking”
The down low
February 03, 2020 I have been holding it all inside – deep, deep down for so long now that I need to blog. I need to let some of this pain out. On Christmas eve I tried to kill myself by overdosing on panadol. Christmas day was the worst day I’ve ever had in aContinue reading “The down low”
Losing George – take 2
October 29, 2019 Okay. I’ll try another run at this. Have you ever leaned back in your chair and leaned that bit too far and almost toppled over? But then you caught yourself in time and stopped it? That panicked “OMG” feeling – that rush of fear? Normally people feel it for just a fewContinue reading “Losing George – take 2”
