I’ll ride with you


So not a lot has happened in my life since I last wrote to you. I suck at resting and I suck at getting anything done because the house is still a mess, my life in general is a mess and I’m tired even though I’ve not been in work for almost 6 weeks now because I worry and stress anyway.

What is my life?

Anxious about money, I re-joined a few Employment Agencies and asked them to please put me into some temporary work assignments (a day or two here and there) so I could raise some much needed funds to help tide Alun and I over while I am ‘resting’ and also in the 6 weeks (maybe more?) it will take me to recover from the Operation in June.


I need to use this time to lose weight and get fit (as much as possible anyway) so that the operation will go well and I will help speed up my healing/recovery time
I would like to work and put aside some money so that while I’m recovering, I can still pay towards bills and still have a bit of independence money-wise.


I am unhappy, stressed and really unwell. I’m comforting myself with fatty foods and because I’m not ‘allowed’ to do any exercise, I am just sleeping and eating A LOT and my weight is ballooning out of control. IT is MENTAL how HUGE I am.

I don’t walk anymore, I waddle.

I temped for a day on  my birthday last Friday (woo!) and am currently temping now at a Government Department for the next 3 weeks. Because of the Easter Holidays, I won’t actually be doing that many days of work (temps don’t get paid for holidays. So unfair) but it’s better than nothing. I like where I work right now and I’m only responsible for answering calls (there are so many!) so it’s a pretty good gig. Praise God.

The visit with Alun’s parents went a lot better than I expected. His Mom and Dad were really nice the whole time. There was a particular instance where I had to wait in the emergency part of the hospital for scans/results and I was feeling really anxious. Alun’s Mom had texted to ask if I was okay and I texted back “I’m a bit scared” and she asked if I wanted her to come out to the hospital to sit with me. I messaged back something like “no no, I’ll be fine – Alun will be here after he finishes his shift in a few hours anyway – all good” but within half an hour, Alun’s parents were there – sat on either side of me. Alun’s Dad was looking anxiously around him, wanting to ask anyone who looked ‘medical’ if they had an update on how I was and Alun’s Mom didn’t leave my side and would pat my arm gently and remind me I wasn’t alone.

It was really lovely. Thank you, Abba Father.

So anyway.

My plan now is to complete this short temp assignment, TRY NOT TO SPEND ALL MY PAY FROM THIS ON MAKEUP PALETTES and put some away for when I will be too bruised/broken to move. Once this job is over, I wanted to set a goal to walk 5kms every day (that’s the distance of my house to the gym and back because it covers over 3 suburbs and takes about an hour and a half to complete on a good day – probably more like 2 hours now that I have a clot on my lung) and to go on a freaking DIET so I could lose at least a little bit of weight before the operation.

So there you go.

Onto today’s actual blog now that you’re all caught up – “I’ll ride with you”.

Photo by Eva Elijas

I was heading home yesterday afternoon and was adding credit to my ‘smart rider’ for the train when I felt a gentle tap on my arm.

“Janet! It’s you! Haha”

And I looked up into the beautiful face of Gracie’s cousin Jasmine.

Jasmine is absolutely stunning. She’s tall, curvy and pretty with big brown eyes, long dark hair and a big, welcoming smile. I think what adds to her beauty is that she’s really, really nice to everyone. We became friends through Gracie (of course) and have lost touch over the years but every now and then, we ‘like’ each other’s Facebook posts or send a happy comment.

It was so nice to see Jaz’s friendly face.

We found out we were both catching the same train home (woo!) and fell easily into conversation – laughing within minutes, as if we hung out together every day. Jasmine is a lot like Alun in that they’re good looking, kind to others, super smart and also really quiet/humble about how awesome they are. Jaz is hilarious but speaks quietly. Gently. So that if you don’t pay attention, you’ll miss it. We were crying laughing and leaning on each other to stay upright. I was having a wonderful time. The train pulled into the station and Jasmine smiled and went to line up at the doors to board. I recognised the “A” pattern on the train – it doesn’t stop at my station.


“Jaz” I gently touched her elbow (she towers over me!) “you catch this, I have to wait for the B train” I explained.

Without a moment’s hesitation, Jasmine linked her arm through mine.

“It’s okay – I’ll ride with you”

I don’t know why, but her words really touched my heart.

Jasmine was absolutely fine with letting that train go and waiting for the next one with me. I guess it was a small gesture and the next train was due in 10 minutes…but it meant the world to me.

We talked and laughed all the way on the train journey and when it reached my stop, I was sad that our time together had to end.

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