the 3 P’s and a C

Hey you,

I’m at work and I really love this job. I don’t know if I love it because 1) I really need a job 2) It’s temporary so I’m not getting caught up in making friends/impressing people but I like coming into work every day and time goes by really fast. I’m getting paid really well and I like the people I work with. I’m pretty blessed.

Thank you, God.

Today I wanted to write about “the 3 P’s” – the 3 signs that the guy you’re in love with is in love with you, too. I wanted to add my own thing to the 3 P’s though – the big C.

Stay with me on this one, I’ll explain as I go.

I read in a book by Steve Harvey that if a man is in love, he’ll do these 3 things:

He’ll stick up for you. He’ll take your side. He’ll be especially protective of you and want to keep you safe at all times. Alun does all these in my life. If we’re out and about and he sees another person coming towards us, Al will push me behind him and puff out his chest – just slightly but I notice – and he will place himself in front of me to keep me safe. If I’m sick, Alun drops everything to look after me and when I’m depressed or anxious, he is constantly by my side, encouraging me and loving me until I’m feeling better. Alun gets riled up/really angry if he finds out people have hurt me/ripped me off. He is my defender and my biggest support.

Make sure the guy you’re with is protective over you. I hope he holds your hand when you cross the street. I hope he walks on the traffic side of the pavement to keep you safe. I hope he steps in front of you and defends you if anyone is having a go at you – or even looks as if they might try. I hope he gets angry if anyone hurts you.

He’ll want to pay for things all the time because he’s so proud of you and wants to look after you. Alun always puts money in my account or in my purse. When we go out for meals, Alun always pays. It’s not something I expect and I offer to pay half or to ‘treat’ him whenever we’re together but Alun takes pride in paying for me. The guy you’re with should want to look after you financially as well as be protective of you physically. Maybe it’s something that dates back ‘caveman’ days – where the man of the house would bring back a…I don’t know…dead dinosaur or something and lay it proudly on the ground at his hut (?) “Woman – look what I did!” haha. Guys. They are hard-wired to PROVIDE for the ones they love. Even if they don’t have any money, they’ll want to provide in some way. A friend of mine was dating a girl and was smitten with her. He didn’t have a lot of money and knew she loved flowers so he walked from his house to her house (as I recall, it was a really long distance), picking flowers all along the way and when he reached her front door, he had a massive bouquet of flowers for her. He wanted to provide. He was so pleased about it. This is what you want to look out for in your relationship – a guy that wants to provide for you. He’ll want to pick you up and take you home from work (Alun always does this), he’ll want to foot the bill, he’ll want to help pay towards/for the things you love. Alun always wants to feed me for some insane reason. He’ll be up late at night making me sandwiches and snacks for the next day. Alun loves cooking and gets so excited with a new recipe – mostly because he wants to make me something. I love that about him.

Steve Harvey said in his book “Act like a Lady, but Think Like a Man” – that if a man is in love with you, he will want to shout it from the rooftops. He will want EVERYONE to know you and he are together. I have that with Alun – he tells everyone. I’m in his Facebook profile pic (aww) and whenever I meet someone from Alun’s work, the first thing they say is “Omg! Alun talks about you all the time!” and I’ll turn to a red-faced Alun who will be trying to ‘shush’ the person talking to me. It’s really sweet. The guy you’re with should want to meet your friends and family and should be dying for you to meet his. He should be telling all his mates about “his lady” and be wanting everyone to know you guys are a couple. Men are usually pretty private creatures but when it comes to being in love, this is one area where you can’t shut them up.

Now for my very own addition to this – the big C.


Not financially, but to his heart.

It’s not a big deal if a guy pays for everything for you if he’s rich. It’s not really cost him anything. Yeah, it’s cost him in money – but if he has a lot of it anyway – then what’s it to him?  A guy can be really sweet and tell you all the right things when you’re alone with him – but what’s he like when you guys are out with other people? Because that’s when ‘cost’ comes in. It ‘costs’ him to meet your friends and family because he’s putting himself in a very uncomfortable situation for you. All good that he holds your hand and looks after you in private – but what’s he like in public? Does he still show affection for you? Does he pay for meals? Hold the door open for you? Does he make time to look away from his phone and really listen to you when you guys are out? Does he leave a party/function the second you say you feel uncomfortable? Does he put you first? It’s all good for a guy to provide for you when he’s wealthy, to ‘proclaim’ how much he loves you when you guys are alone together. He can be super ‘protective’ of you when no one else is about but that’s where the big C comes in – does he do these ‘3 p’s’ when you’re around other people? Does it come at a cost to his pride?

It cost Alun to take my side when his parents were mean to me. It cost everything he had and he did not hesitate for a second to support me. It costs us – all of us – to go and ‘meet the mates/meet the family’ because it’s an uncomfortable situation. It’s stepping out of our comfort zones to meet the mates and the family of the person we’re dating. It’s not fun! I remember physically shaking before meeting Alun’s mates for the first time but I made myself go through it because it was a facet of Alun’s life I wanted to be part of. It is awkward and weird to meet the people in the lives of those we love – and yet we do it – because it’s important. It’s necessary. It costs Alun to be protective of me and he gives up time to cook for me, look after me, support me and protect me. He does this all publicly. Not in a ‘showy’ way but everyone we know are pretty clear on the fact we love each other. It costs me to be brave and go on adventures with Alun but you will be find me climbing a mountain, on a stand up paddleboard or on a speedboat – right beside the guy I love. Sure, I’m scared out of my wits but I will try all these new things because it makes Al happy. I will bite my tongue around Alun’s parents because he loves them so much and I’ll make extra effort to get along with Alun’s friends because they are his heart and I want him to know they are important to me, too.

So look at the cost the guy you’re dating is putting into your life, because this is important, too.

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