Making hard choices

February 07, 2020 I’m the one responsible for my life and 98% of me wants it just to end. I just want to stop. Please. I think the last few months have really battered me. What’s killing me now is pure exhaustion. I haven’t stopped. I’ve moved from job to job to job – takingContinue reading “Making hard choices”

One step…then another

July 12, 2017 I live my life on the edge of a knife. I live it second to second now – hanging onto life with my very fingernails, wondering if right now is going to be when the grief of being me kills me – or will I live another second? I put one foot…in front ofContinue reading “One step…then another”

The middle of the road

July 07, 2017 So. Since Tuesday, I’ve been home. When Alun and I left Dr D’s on Tuesday morning, she signed me a Medical Certificate for the next 2 weeks. I’m stressing about every second I’m not at work. Because they’re not going to ‘wait’ for me to get better. They’re not going to holdContinue reading “The middle of the road”

One step at a time

April 02, 2017 I love action movies. I love the thought of heroes and doing good for people who need help. That’s probably why I watch a lot of movies. Some of my favourite movies – are the ones with the “Avengers” in them. Of course, “Tony Stark” (played by the gorgeous Robert Downey Jr)Continue reading “One step at a time”

Knock knock

January 30, 2017 Icame home from work today and felt exhausted. Every hour at work felt like it took 3 hours to pass. I had to plaster on a brave face and greet everyone with a bright smile. I went to the bathroom 3 times during my shift at work; shutting the cubicle door behindContinue reading “Knock knock”

Can’t trust me

I’m in a great job, working good hours with a bunch of staff who are really happy people. I have an amazing husband who’s gorgeous, kind and smart and a circle of friends who believe in me, support me and care about me. So why do I stand on the very edge of the platformContinue reading “Can’t trust me”