Grief

My Dad – someone who often was my whole world in my eyes – is the first person I’ve ever lost. This is my first experience of grief and I don’t know what to do. Grief is obviously different for everyone. Some grieve lost dreams, the loss of babies before they got to be older,Continue reading “Grief”

It doesn’t get easier

It’s been about 5 weeks since I lost my Dad. I don’t feel any less lost, hurt, devastated or shocked than I did when I first got that God-awful horrendous phone call from my poor Mom telling me that Dad had unexpectedly passed away in the early hours of that morning. When I think backContinue reading “It doesn’t get easier”

Surprisingly, I’M the toxic one

I was stood in line at the Bakery yesterday in Maylands, eyeing up my favourite vanilla cannoli’s in the display fridge. Mmmmmm. Bob Dylan’s “Hey Mr Tambourine Man” started playing and before I knew it, my heart was aching and tears were rolling down my cheeks. My Dad loved Dylan. Since my Dad died, IContinue reading “Surprisingly, I’M the toxic one”

It’s been a week since my Dad died

It’s been a week since my Dad died. I’m always in pain. I’m always grieving. Some days I cry, some days I feel numb but there’s always a painful hole in my heart and when the wind blows – as it often does during Perth winter – it hurts like a bastard. I keep goingContinue reading “It’s been a week since my Dad died”

Where is my Dad?

It’s been 5 days since my Dad died. I miss him so much. Yesterday I couldn’t face anything. I couldn’t do any housework or gardening. Today I made the bed and feel like I have it in me to do the dishes and tidy the kitchen. I honestly feel like a psychopath. I haven’t criedContinue reading “Where is my Dad?”

The worst day of my life

I remember it as if it had just happened. Dad was in a bright blue tshirt. Dad always picks horrible clothes, bless him. He loves bright colours and garish, horrible patterns. When we travelled around the US almost 30 years ago (how is it that long ago?) I was embarrassed that Dad wore such brightContinue reading “The worst day of my life”