Numb little bug
I told my friends I was struggling on Facebook (I’m very dramatic, God bless me) and that I was suicidal. I did it 1) so that if I went through with killing myself, at least the people I love had a heads up and 2) in case anyone else felt suicidal, they’d know they weren’t…
I feel the weight of responsibility on my shoulders and OMG IT IS PAINFUL. It’s too heavy! IT’S JUST TOO FUCKING HEAVY!!! This is what I’m carrying: Responsibility for my Mom since my Dad passed away and THEY SPENT ALL THEIR FUCKING MONEY in 2 years. ALL OF IT. I just don’t understand!!! (Or maybe…
Knock Knock. Who’s there? The Police.
Ethel you’ve gone TOO FUCKING FAR now.
“When bullies win, EVERYONE loses”
My soul’s winter
I saw those words “My Soul’s Winter” on someone else’s blog and those words rang out within me. I really resonated with them. Have you ever heard something so beautiful in your life? This is what this depression feels like. It feels like my soul’s winter. It’s weird to call it that because you know…
The State that I’m in
Firstly, the blessing is that I’m loved. I have SO MANY amazing, caring, sweet, incredible friends, an extraordinary husband and a Mom who loves me so very much. She drives me nuts, but she’s my Mom. I’m so thankful for at least ONE parent in my life. I will forever miss my Dad being around.…
My week in a fancy psych ward
I completed 7 full days. I asked – in great trauma and distress – on the 7th day to be released to go home as I was the most suicidal and out of control I’ve been in years and it was due to the treatment I received in hospital. First let’s do the pros and…
Making hard choices
February 07, 2020 I’m the one responsible for my life and 98% of me wants it just to end. I just want to stop. Please. I think the last few months have really battered me. What’s killing me now is pure exhaustion. I haven’t stopped. I’ve moved from job to job to job – taking…