Category: suicide

• The heart of my Memoir

  I signed onto a free online class about Memoir writing today. It was difficult to concentrate solely on the class and not look around the room or let my mind drift off to other things. Something I picked up on was finding the heart of my Memoir. The Lecturer said her Memoir started out as…

  janetdthomas77

  October 29, 2022

  addiction, anxiety, Author life, books, Christian life, communication, dating, family, Family Obligations, Favouritism, Fears, Friends, goals, happy memories, hospital, Humour, identity, Illness, Jealousy, Life, loss, love, marriage, memoir, mental illness, obsessed, Relationships, sexlife, siblings, suicide, worth, Writer, writing

  2ndmarriage, abuse, acceptance, addiction, advice, anxiety, authenticity, author, Author struggles, authorlife, authors, authorsLife, backstories, backstory, battles, blessings, bloggers, book production, bookgoals, bookreview, books, boys, breakups, buddingauthor, buddingwriter, canweevergoback, changedforever, chapterhook, redraft, rewrite

• Numb little bug

  I told my friends I was struggling on Facebook (I’m very dramatic, God bless me) and that I was suicidal. I did it 1) so that if I went through with killing myself, at least the people I love had a heads up and 2) in case anyone else felt suicidal, they’d know they weren’t…

  janetdthomas77

  May 3, 2022

  anxiety, death, depression, Fears, fed up, Grieving, identity, Illness, Life, loss, mental illness, Suicidalideations, suicide

  anxiety, depression, grief, icantbreathe, Icantgoon, Icantmoveforward, ijustwanttodieplease, Life, mental illness, suicidalandthatsok, suicide, temptedbysuicide

• Obligated

  

  I feel the weight of responsibility on my shoulders and OMG IT IS PAINFUL. It’s too heavy! IT’S JUST TOO FUCKING HEAVY!!! This is what I’m carrying: Responsibility for my Mom since my Dad passed away and THEY SPENT ALL THEIR FUCKING MONEY in 2 years. ALL OF IT. I just don’t understand!!! (Or maybe…

  janetdthomas77

  May 2, 2022

  anxiety, death, depression, family, Family Obligations, Fears, identity, Illness, Life, loss, mental illness, money, panic attacks, Suicidalideations, suicide

  cantgoon, heavyweight, notsustainable, Obligations, responsibilitiesarekillingme, SOS, struggling, suicidal, suicidelooksmightyfinerightnow

• Knock Knock. Who’s there? The Police.

  Ethel you’ve gone TOO FUCKING FAR now.

  janetdthomas77

  April 25, 2022

  abuse, anxiety, bullies, depression, Fears, grief, Grieving, Illness, mental illness, Police, suicide, Welfarecheck

  anxiety, bullies, bully, depression, ethelyoufucker, grief, loss, mental illness, mentalhealth, Police, Welfarecheck

• Triggered

  “When bullies win, EVERYONE loses”

  janetdthomas77

  April 22, 2022

  anxiety, bullies, death, depression, dodging bullets, family, Fears, Friends, Grieving, identity, Illness, kindness, Life, loss, love, mental illness, Relationships, suicide, Work

  anxiety, beinghated, bullies, bulliesdontwin, depression, enemies, feelingalone, friendship, Life, mental illness, mentalhealth, Relationships, standUp

• Someone on the train tracks

  “Good morning ladies and gentleman” a voice came on over the train speakers this morning as I was heading to work on the Midland line: “There is a delay on our route into the city as someone is on the train tracks, we will get moving as soon as possible, thank you for your patience”.…

  janetdthomas77

  March 29, 2022

  death, depression, Fears, identity, Illness, Life, loss, suicide, train, Travel

  bekind, dontjudge, getthefullstory, Life, prayingforyou, traintracks

• My soul’s winter

  I saw those words “My Soul’s Winter” on someone else’s blog and those words rang out within me. I really resonated with them. Have you ever heard something so beautiful in your life? This is what this depression feels like. It feels like my soul’s winter. It’s weird to call it that because you know…

  janetdthomas77

  January 29, 2022

  anxiety, death, depression, Illness, Life, loss, mental illness, panic attacks, suicide

  anxiety, depression, drowning, mental illness, needsomehelp, suffocating

• The State that I’m in

  Firstly, the blessing is that I’m loved. I have SO MANY amazing, caring, sweet, incredible friends, an extraordinary husband and a Mom who loves me so very much. She drives me nuts, but she’s my Mom. I’m so thankful for at least ONE parent in my life. I will forever miss my Dad being around.…

  janetdthomas77

  January 29, 2022

  anxiety, death, depression, family, Fears, Friends, grief, Grieving, identity, Life, loss, mental illness, panic attacks, rest, self help, self love, suicide, The Beach, Work

  abused, anxiety, burntout, cantgoon, Dad, depression, family, grief, Ineedhelp, mental illness, pleasehelpme, suicidalagain

• My week in a fancy psych ward

  I completed 7 full days. I asked – in great trauma and distress – on the 7th day to be released to go home as I was the most suicidal and out of control I’ve been in years and it was due to the treatment I received in hospital. First let’s do the pros and…

  janetdthomas77

  October 4, 2021

  depression, Fears, Grieving, Group Therapy, hospital, Illness, Life, loss, mental illness, suicide

  99problems, advice, afraid, anxiety, anxious, betrayal, I need hep, listen to me, mental illness, mental illness awareness, no help, psychward, suicidal thoughts, suicide

• Making hard choices

  February 07, 2020 I’m the one responsible for my life and 98% of me wants it just to end. I just want to stop. Please. I think the last few months have really battered me. What’s killing me now is pure exhaustion. I haven’t stopped. I’ve moved from job to job to job – taking…

  janetdthomas77

  May 10, 2021

  depression, Fears, Illness, Life, mental illness, suicide

  depression, mental illness, severe depression, suicidal thoughts, suicide