Some things stay the same…

I have so much to tell you and I’m so emotional about it so I’m not sure if it will come out right. I’m so angry, frustrated and upset that I just want to scream into a pillow for an hour. Have you ever felt like that? Bear with me. First of all – theContinue reading “Some things stay the same…”

Things I know about my Dad

Originally, I was going to call this “things I remember about Dad” but it’s too soon. He’s not ‘a memory’, he’s my Dad. He’ll forever be alive and well in my heart. So here’s what I know about him: Dad loved beer. A lot. Dad also loved talking for hours about nothing and everything. HeContinue reading “Things I know about my Dad”

Hurting

Oh My God This is painful, Lord. Losing my Dad is the most painful thing I have ever experienced And it’s ongoing. That’s the kicker. It doesn’t end. It shows you NO hope of letting up. My Dad 😭 My Dad is gone. Losing my Dad is like losing the marrow from my very bones.Continue reading “Hurting”

Panicked

I left work on Friday with a beautiful card of encouragement and love signed by everyone in my office, a little gift wrapped in flamingo paper (I’m hoping it’s a candle, I love candles) and hope in my heart that now I was going to get the rest and time to think and reset thatContinue reading “Panicked”

Grief

My Dad – someone who often was my whole world in my eyes – is the first person I’ve ever lost. This is my first experience of grief and I don’t know what to do. Grief lingers in dark corners and is a heavy weight on my heart. Grief doesn’t follow rules of times toContinue reading “Grief”

“You should write a book about your Dad”

Quite a few friends have told me to that I should write a book about my Dad. I think they like my nostalgic Facebook posts and they think I have a wealth of knowledge on my Dad and that everything was rosey and tinted in a golden hue. That’s not the truth. The truth isContinue reading ““You should write a book about your Dad””

What would Dad say?

Well. It could go one of 2 ways, really. Whenever I came to Dad for advice, he’d either be compassionate and wise with some really good advice, or get really angry/annoyed at what I was asking about (maybe it was in the way I asked?) and would give me very sarcastic, hurtful advice…and possibly aContinue reading “What would Dad say?”

Speak to me in the language of love

November 04, 2019 I don’t mean that romantically, by the way. I really believe everyone has 1 or more of these love languages: Words: being spoken to, written to lovingly – the opposite – being talked to harshly, told off, yelled at or written to in harsh words can break your heart Touch: Being held,Continue reading “Speak to me in the language of love”

Nothing can prepare you for the loss of a parent

I thought I had a good 15-20 years left of having Dad in my life before having to consider and accept that yes, he can’t live forever. I’d be older then and more mature (lol) and would be able to spend more time with Dad. Time. That’s the kicker. Because we don’t get to controlContinue reading “Nothing can prepare you for the loss of a parent”

A much-needed week off

Hey, On Monday, I had such terrible pains in my lower abdomen (I thought it was my ovaries) that I left work, called Alun and asked him to meet me at the hospital. Alun did meet me there, wheeling a green wheelchair towards me with a kind smile. Bless him. Alun looked so handsome inContinue reading “A much-needed week off”