Category: panic attacks
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The kitchen incident
As you guys know, I’ve been really, really sick these last few weeks. I’ve had to stay in at home and it hasn’t been a “fun” illness where I can lay in bed and read books…it’s absolutely knocked me for 6 and I’ve suffered terribly. So when 2 people at my work who are “close…
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Still here
Yesterday I called in “sick” to work. I feel bad about it because I wasn’t sick, I was fed up, overwhelmed and burnt out. I don’t know if that would have been acceptable to call in with, so I went with “a migraine” which was accepted without question. Hmm. I also emailed my Psychiatrist’s secretary…
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Obligated
I feel the weight of responsibility on my shoulders and OMG IT IS PAINFUL. It’s too heavy! IT’S JUST TOO FUCKING HEAVY!!! This is what I’m carrying: Responsibility for my Mom since my Dad passed away and THEY SPENT ALL THEIR FUCKING MONEY in 2 years. ALL OF IT. I just don’t understand!!! (Or maybe…
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My soul’s winter
I saw those words “My Soul’s Winter” on someone else’s blog and those words rang out within me. I really resonated with them. Have you ever heard something so beautiful in your life? This is what this depression feels like. It feels like my soul’s winter. It’s weird to call it that because you know…
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The State that I’m in
Firstly, the blessing is that I’m loved. I have SO MANY amazing, caring, sweet, incredible friends, an extraordinary husband and a Mom who loves me so very much. She drives me nuts, but she’s my Mom. I’m so thankful for at least ONE parent in my life. I will forever miss my Dad being around.…
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Possibly going back to Hospital
I had a great psych appointment with “Lana” who is turning out to be a big blessing. I honestly didn’t think I’d find anyone I would get along with so well after “George” but here she is…and I can’t be more grateful. Thank you, God. In case you’ve never seen a psychologist/counsellor before and you…
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Make lemons from lemonade
October 13, 2019 Have you ever actually tried making lemonade? IT. IS. A. BASTARD. To get the quantities just right and to make it something palatable and not disgusting takes work. A lot of work. So, to whoever said “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade” – SCREW YOU, MAN. What if you don’t even…
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Broken
October 10, 2019 Yesterday, I sat in a window alcove on one of the busiest streets in the city and cried. I didn’t just cry, by the way – I wailed. I howled. Tears didn’t fall daintily down my cheeks – they poured. I didn’t care. This is me at my lowest point. I have just…
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Sleep
March 11, 2019 So today consisted of: 8:30am – awake. Not because I want to be, but because Alun has licked his finger and put it in my ear. “Morning, Gorg! Margaret river todaaayyyy!” he sings. *sigh* 9:00am – help Alun load cases and bags of food (mostly of beers) into the car boot.Why?Because Alun…
"I get knocked down, but I get up again" 