Some things stay the same…

I have so much to tell you and I’m so emotional about it so I’m not sure if it will come out right. I’m so angry, frustrated and upset that I just want to scream into a pillow for an hour. Have you ever felt like that? Bear with me. First of all – theContinue reading “Some things stay the same…”

Things I know about my Dad

Originally, I was going to call this “things I remember about Dad” but it’s too soon. He’s not ‘a memory’, he’s my Dad. He’ll forever be alive and well in my heart. So here’s what I know about him: Dad loved beer. A lot. Dad also loved talking for hours about nothing and everything. HeContinue reading “Things I know about my Dad”

Grief

My Dad – someone who often was my whole world in my eyes – is the first person I’ve ever lost. This is my first experience of grief and I don’t know what to do. Grief lingers in dark corners and is a heavy weight on my heart. Grief doesn’t follow rules of times toContinue reading “Grief”

What would Dad say?

Well. It could go one of 2 ways, really. Whenever I came to Dad for advice, he’d either be compassionate and wise with some really good advice, or get really angry/annoyed at what I was asking about (maybe it was in the way I asked?) and would give me very sarcastic, hurtful advice…and possibly aContinue reading “What would Dad say?”

Speak to me in the language of love

November 04, 2019 I don’t mean that romantically, by the way. I really believe everyone has 1 or more of these love languages: Words: being spoken to, written to lovingly – the opposite – being talked to harshly, told off, yelled at or written to in harsh words can break your heart Touch: Being held,Continue reading “Speak to me in the language of love”

Nothing can prepare you for the loss of a parent

I thought I had a good 15-20 years left of having Dad in my life before having to consider and accept that yes, he can’t live forever. I’d be older then and more mature (lol) and would be able to spend more time with Dad. Time. That’s the kicker. Because we don’t get to controlContinue reading “Nothing can prepare you for the loss of a parent”

Hey Dad,

I had no idea that one day you would just be…gone. I don’t remember meeting you, I was only 3…but you do. You told me that I was very shy and skittish and you had to win me over. I bet you did that by being gentle, sweet and kind. I have always felt safeContinue reading “Hey Dad,”

A much-needed week off

Hey, On Monday, I had such terrible pains in my lower abdomen (I thought it was my ovaries) that I left work, called Alun and asked him to meet me at the hospital. Alun did meet me there, wheeling a green wheelchair towards me with a kind smile. Bless him. Alun looked so handsome inContinue reading “A much-needed week off”

My Dad just died

At around 4am, my phone rang. An international number flashed on the screen and in my half-awake state, I thought “Scammers” and rejected the call. A minute later, my phone dinged with a message. “Cheeky buggers” I thought “they’re probably leaving me a message on the best phone deals or how they can provide aContinue reading “My Dad just died”

That’s my story, not yours

I was walking out of the bathroom on the 2nd day of my new job – and squinting because without my glasses, I couldn’t distinguish which office was mine from the row of identical doors along the hallway. Then I heard it. “Janet?!?” my name said in part disbelief, part surprise but mostly in question.Continue reading “That’s my story, not yours”