Category: loss

• Painful firsts

  Tomorrow is my first FIRST. My first Father’s day without my Dad. I can’t find the words to express to you how FUCKING PAINFUL this is. Dad…how can it be? How do I cope tomorrow? When you lose your Dad…breathing becomes very difficult…as if your very lungs are on fire. Your whole body aches terribly. […]

  janetdthomas77

  September 4, 2021

  death, family, Fears, Grieving, Life, loss, love

  Dad, Dad and Daughter, DadisDead, FathersDay, grief, loss

• The world is different without my Dad in it

  I feel like even the air hangs differently without my Dad somewhere on this earth, laughing in his gruff, deep voice and shaking his head because he’s “chuffed” with something. I miss my Dad. Grief doesn’t arrive when I’m alone at home on a weekend where I can just cry. Instead, it gripped me tight […]

  janetdthomas77

  August 30, 2021

  death, family, Grieving, Life, loss, love

  DadDied, DadisDead, grief, Grieving, howtomoveone, loss, lossofparent, MissingmyDad

• Just around the corner

  I saw that Mom was online and clicked on ‘video call’, smiling as I waited for her phone camera to connect with mine. I looked at the mirror image of myself in the corner of my phone screen and sighed – my hair was everywhere and I had no makeup on. I haven’t been bothered […]

  janetdthomas77

  August 7, 2021

  family, Fears, Life, loss, Relationships, siblings

  banned, boys, brothers, estranged, family, hurting, Relationships, stalker, thisisbollocks

• Stuffing grief down to my feet

  …doesn’t work, guys. It just does NOT work. I am trying to go to work – full 8 hour days at the office (Praise God, I’m in a really great job with very little responsibility or I would have fallen apart ages ago) and be ‘normal’ while inside I’m crumbling and hurting over my Dad’s […]

  janetdthomas77

  August 3, 2021

  depression, Fears, grief, Grieving, Illness, Life, loss, mental illness, rest, self help, self love

  exhausted, grief, Life, loss, Relationships, rest

• Things too painful to speak of

  

  This is one of the most painful and one of the BEST blogs I have EVER written.

  janetdthomas77

  July 27, 2021

  death, family, Favouritism, Fears, grief, Grieving, Life, loss, love, Relationships

  aching, breachingagap, brotherandsister, crossingoceans, grief, hurt, phonecallswithsiblings, profoundhurt, siblingrelationships, siblingrivalry, siblings, sorry, strainedrelationships, wilderness, youngerbrother

• Hurting

  

  Oh My God This is painful, Lord. Losing my Dad is the most painful thing I have ever experienced And it’s ongoing. That’s the kicker. It doesn’t end. It shows you NO hope of letting up. My Dad 😭 My Dad is gone. Losing my Dad is like losing the marrow from my very bones. […]

  janetdthomas77

  July 20, 2021

  death, family, Fears, grief, Grieving, loss, Relationships

  arghh, bereavement, Dad, Dad and Daughter, DadDied, DadisDead, Dads, dark thoughts, DealingwithDeath, dearDad, disbelief, drowning, FamilyDynamics, Fathers, Godhelpme, GodIneedyou, grief, Grieving, heart, heartache, help, helpme, loss, lossofDad, LossofFamilyMember, lost, lostalovedone

• Panicked

  I left work on Friday with a beautiful card of encouragement and love signed by everyone in my office, a little gift wrapped in flamingo paper (I’m hoping it’s a candle, I love candles) and hope in my heart that now I was going to get the rest and time to think and reset that […]

  janetdthomas77

  July 18, 2021

  anxiety, death, family, Fears, grief, Grieving, Life, loss, Relationships, Work

  anxiety, depression, financialproblems, Godhelpme, GodIneedyou, help, howmuchisakidneyworth, Life, mental illness, Relationships, worry

• I’m walking away

  So today, I need to come up with a final decision for my boss. Here’s what’s been going on in the last few days: I’ve posted on Facebook about my struggle to decide and beloved friends have weighed in – albeit very gently – on it. Some are for staying, some are for leaving. Great. […]

  janetdthomas77

  July 14, 2021

  depression, family, Fears, grief, Grieving, Life, loss, self help, self love, Work

  choosesomething, contracting, decisions, hardtochoose, Life, templife, toughchoices, Work, worklife

• Decisions, Decisions

  I have a longggg history of being hired and fired for many, MANY jobs. I have pretty much worked in every industry and field in the whole of Perth in offices in almost every suburb over the last 15 years. I can count on one hand the jobs I’ve enjoyed, they are that few and […]

  janetdthomas77

  July 13, 2021

  Fears, grief, Life, loss, self help, self love, Work

  arghh, decisions, Life, mental illness, stayorgo, Work, worklife

• Nothing can prepare you for the loss of a parent

  I thought I had a good 15-20 years left of having Dad in my life before having to consider and accept that yes, he can’t live forever. I’d be older then and more mature (lol) and would be able to spend more time with Dad. Time. That’s the kicker. Because we don’t get to control […]

  janetdthomas77

  July 5, 2021

  death, family, Fears, grief, Grieving, loss, love, Relationships

  Dad, Dad and Daughter, grief, Grieving, hindsight.do over, loss, LossofFamilyMember, time