The rip

I read a book called “The Rip” maybe a year ago? While the title hinted at a powerful current that literally RIPS you from one place of relative safety suddenly – and I’ve heard it happens in seconds – out to sea – the book was about a girl trying her best to break awayContinue reading “The rip”

The Shrink next door

It’s hard to write today’s blog because it hurts my heart to remember back to the abusive relationship I was in and how much pain I went through at the time. I wrote a chapter about Anne in my Memoir but watching appleTV’s series “The Shrink next door” and seeing a sweet, vulnerable man goContinue reading “The Shrink next door”

My week in a fancy psych ward

I completed 7 full days. I asked – in great trauma and distress – on the 7th day to be released to go home as I was the most suicidal and out of control I’ve been in years and it was due to the treatment I received in hospital. First let’s do the pros andContinue reading “My week in a fancy psych ward”

My 1st full day in a Psych Ward

As fancy as my “Suite” here is, the pillows are inflatable and very uncomfortable so I didn’t get much sleep last night. Have you ever tried to sleep with a BALLOON as your pillow? It’s infuriating. Especially after a long day when all you want to do is sleep. Apart from that, it seems toContinue reading “My 1st full day in a Psych Ward”

I’ve been admitted to a Private psych ward

I’ve been in so much mental anguish for so long that I knew I had to reach out for help. I asked my Doctor to write me a referral to 4 of the Private Psych Hospitals here in Perth and God made a way because I got admitted to HC yesterday afternoon. I shook asContinue reading “I’ve been admitted to a Private psych ward”

Painful firsts

Tomorrow is my first FIRST. My first Father’s day without my Dad. I can’t find the words to express to you how FUCKING PAINFUL this is. Dad…how can it be? How do I cope tomorrow? When you lose your Dad…breathing becomes very difficult…as if your very lungs are on fire. Your whole body aches terribly.Continue reading “Painful firsts”

Just around the corner

I saw that Mom was online and clicked on ‘video call’, smiling as I waited for her phone camera to connect with mine. I looked at the mirror image of myself in the corner of my phone screen and sighed – my hair was everywhere and I had no makeup on. I haven’t been botheredContinue reading “Just around the corner”

Stuffing grief down to my feet

…doesn’t work, guys. It just does NOT work. I am trying to go to work – full 8 hour days at the office (Praise God, I’m in a really great job with very little responsibility or I would have fallen apart ages ago) and be ‘normal’ while inside I’m crumbling and hurting over my Dad’sContinue reading “Stuffing grief down to my feet”

Things too painful to speak of

This is one of the most painful and one of the BEST blogs I have EVER written.

Some things stay the same…

I have so much to tell you and I’m so emotional about it so I’m not sure if it will come out right. I’m so angry, frustrated and upset that I just want to scream into a pillow for an hour. Have you ever felt like that? Bear with me. I’ll get there eventually…I justContinue reading “Some things stay the same…”