I’ve been blessed in my life because I’ve never lost anyone close to me. I wasn’t aware just how special that was until my Dad died, you know. I get angry at God – my first experience losing someone in my life and it couldn’t be an old high school buddy, Lord? It couldn’t beContinue reading “Navigating stormy, unfamiliar waters”
Category Archives: family
Surprisingly, I’M the toxic one
I was stood in line at the Bakery yesterday in Maylands, eyeing up my favourite vanilla cannoli’s in the display fridge. Mmmmmm. Bob Dylan’s “Hey Mr Tambourine Man” started playing and before I knew it, my heart was aching and tears were rolling down my cheeks. My Dad loved Dylan. Since my Dad died, IContinue reading “Surprisingly, I’M the toxic one”
It’s been a week since my Dad died
It’s been a week since my Dad died. I’m always in pain. I’m always grieving. Some days I cry, some days I feel numb but there’s always a painful hole in my heart and when the wind blows – as it often does during Perth winter – it hurts like a bastard. I keep goingContinue reading “It’s been a week since my Dad died”
Where is my Dad?
It’s day 5 since my Dad died. I miss him so much. Yesterday I couldn’t face anything. I couldn’t do any housework or gardening. Today I made the bed and feel like I have it in me to do the dishes and tidy the kitchen. I honestly feel like a psychopath. I haven’t cried nearlyContinue reading “Where is my Dad?”
Angry at the sun
I’m angry that the sun rose today. How could it rise now that my Dad is gone? I’m angry at every car passing our home, mad that people are going about their days when my Dad is no longer with us. Father God, how is today so beautiful? Why is the sun shining and theContinue reading “Angry at the sun”
My Dad just died
At around 4am, my phone rang. An international number flashed on the screen and in my half-awake state, I thought “Scammers” and rejected the call. A minute later, my phone dinged with a message. “Cheeky buggers” I thought “they’re probably leaving me a message on the best phone deals or how they can provide aContinue reading “My Dad just died”
That’s my story, not yours
I was walking out of the bathroom on the 2nd day of my new job – and squinting because without my glasses, I couldn’t distinguish which office was mine from the row of identical doors along the hallway. Then I heard it. “Janet?!?” my name said in part disbelief, part surprise but mostly in question.Continue reading “That’s my story, not yours”
OK then
May 09, 2019 Jay didn’t respond to my text, you guys. I don’t think he ever will again, to be honest. And yet a shiny, golden part of my heart always wants to try – wants to hold on and not let go. But it hurts! It hurts me terribly when Jay ignores me. I checked myContinue reading “OK then”
To his grave
April 26, 2019 It’s been 2 years since my brother acknowledged my existence. That is enough to break my heart. What REPEATEDLY breaks it is that my parents are OK with my brother’s treatment of me. HOW IS THIS OKAY?!? I currently have a blood clot on my lung and if it was to moveContinue reading “To his grave”
Sleep
March 11, 2019 So today consisted of: 8:30am – awake. Not because I want to be, but because Alun has licked his finger and put it in my ear. “Morning, Gorg! Margaret river todaaayyyy!” he sings. *sigh* 9:00am – help Alun load cases and bags of food (mostly of beers) into the car boot.Why?Because AlunContinue reading “Sleep”
