My Blogs

                                                 These blogs are my heart online.

Welcome to the inner workings of my heart and mind xx

My Memoir

Ughhh. I’m re-writing a lot of my Memoir lately. I feel like an entirely different person is writing now. So weird. I changed the 1st chapter entirely and am now restructuring the 2nd one, focusing on my obsession with Matt rather than the International booty call. I’m going to take out a few chapters and […]

Roadtrip with Dad – the last day.

Day 3: Check out is 10am and I was surprised to find that Dad and I had slept in until my alarm went off at 9:30am. It must be because we were up so late talking. I get us both packed and ready and we were back in the car and on our way to […]

Roadtrip with Dad – Day 2

Day 2: I awake to hear Dad coughing again. He is outside the tent puffing away. I wonder when he woke up. There’s already an empty can of beer on the table, so it must have been at least half an hour ago. I rub my eyes. “Breakfast?” I call out, getting out of bed […]

A road trip with Dad – Day 1 of 3. **Fictional Short story**

Day 1: “Are you sure this is a good idea?” the frown on Mom’s beautiful face deepened. I put my hands gently on both sides of her face; so she had no choice but to see the determination in my eyes. “It’s going to be fine, Mom – I’ll take good care of Dad” At […]

Broken families and broken hearts

I’m back at work this week, even though I’m still really unwell with “covid symptoms”. I tested myself, came up negative…so back to work for me. Ughhh. Working on telecommunications is hectic and every day I feel sooo tired from it, but usually it’s not too bad a job. There are hundreds of callers that […]

Writing, writing, writing.

I wrote my first manuscript 2 years ago now…my Memoir called “The 1st pancake” about all the times I’ve faced adversity and overcome. I was so confident with my manuscript when I had drafted, re-drafted, sent chapters to friends for feedback (Vanessa was amazing at it, she took her editing job seriously) and felt like […]

Sometimes the cost is too high

I’m polite, me. I speak softly. Carefully. I don’t want to offend or cause conflict or hurt so my aim is to say kind things as much as possible. But what I’m finding in the depths of severe depression just lately; is that it costs too much!!! Not financially, but in terms of giving pieces […]

COVID

FFS. Within 24 hours of being admitted to hospital, unpacking, making myself at home (it’s legit the first thing I do whenever I go to somewhere new to stay for a bit) I was SO SICK. I rang the Nurses’ bell and asked for pain killers because my throat was red raw and I felt […]

I’m back in the Psych Ward

Instead of overdosing and ending my life, I called out for help and have been re-admitted to Hollywood Clinic. I’m trying, guys. I’m trying everything I can to stay alive when I really just want the pain to end. For my life to end. This is so hard. Within 24 hours of being admitted, I […]

Triggered

I’m raging right now. RAGING!!! I seem to swing from suicidal to depressed to frightened to ABSOLUTELY FUCKING FURIOUS and there isn’t a reprieve from this awful emotional roller coaster. To calm myself down, here are the facts: Jay is wealthy AF. He has MORE THAN ENOUGH ROOM to comfortably accommodate my Mom. Alun and […]

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