My Blogs

These blogs are my heart online.

Welcome to the inner workings of my heart and mind xx

Raging

I’m usually very quiet. I’m polite. I’m gently spoken and I try to promote kindness and peace wherever I go. But today? TODAY EVERYBODY CAN GET FUCKED. I mean that with every fibre of my being. I hate this stupid fucking world. I hate my life. I hate how I try my best to loveContinue reading “Raging”

Suicidal

I’m spent, guys. I can’t go on. “Basil” fired me unjustly, “Natalie” impersonated me, the Pest control man I hired today to remove dead rats that were fermenting in our ceiling and causing our house (bedroom especially) to smell so bad I want to throw up all the time STOMPED A HOLE THROUGH OUR CEILINGContinue reading “Suicidal”

Rising up

Today I had to wait 3 hours in Court to be seen. I was by myself, daunted and afraid and still I pushed through the mounting fear because I wanted to ensure that through a restraining order that “Natalie” couldn’t pretend to be me anymore. One day I will look back on this and findContinue reading “Rising up”

Brought Low

I was in Kmart, selecting size 16 (OH MY GOD WHY AM I SO HUUUUGE!?!) pants for my new job which was going to start after the weekend. I was so excited to be a Data Entry Officer for the Hospital and get paid a fortune for basically filling in boring forms on the computerContinue reading “Brought Low”

Addicted

He looked like an old Sea Captain with his bright, white beard (trimmed very neatly) and weathered face – like leather. I imagined he’d just stepped off a boat. I was standing at the bar waiting for Alun’s favourite barmaid Sharna to come out and see me. I awkwardly balanced the gift basket I’d madeContinue reading “Addicted”

Painful firsts

Tomorrow is my first FIRST. My first Father’s day without my Dad. I can’t find the words to express to you how FUCKING PAINFUL this is. Dad…how can it be? How do I cope tomorrow? When you lose your Dad…breathing becomes very difficult…as if your very lungs are on fire. Your whole body aches terribly.Continue reading “Painful firsts”

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