These blogs are my heart online.
Welcome to the inner workings of my heart and mind xx
I have so much to tell you and I’m so emotional about it so I’m not sure if it will come out right. I’m so angry, frustrated and upset that I just want to scream into a pillow for an hour. Have you ever felt like that? Bear with me. First of all – theContinue reading “Some things stay the same…”
Originally, I was going to call this “things I remember about Dad” but it’s too soon. He’s not ‘a memory’, he’s my Dad. He’ll forever be alive and well in my heart. So here’s what I know about him: Dad loved beer. A lot. Dad also loved talking for hours about nothing and everything. HeContinue reading “Things I know about my Dad”
The people who tell me most to “cheer up” and “smile, your Dad wouldn’t want you to be sad” are the ones: 1. Who never met my Dad so how would you know what he wants? How fucking dare you? 2. Still have very much alive Dad’s so can’t begin to understand the depth ofContinue reading “You don’t know…so shut up”
Oh My God This is painful, Lord. Losing my Dad is the most painful thing I have ever experienced And it’s ongoing. That’s the kicker. It doesn’t end. It shows you NO hope of letting up. My Dad 😭 My Dad is gone. Losing my Dad is like losing the marrow from my very bones.Continue reading “Hurting”
I left work on Friday with a beautiful card of encouragement and love signed by everyone in my office, a little gift wrapped in flamingo paper (I’m hoping it’s a candle, I love candles) and hope in my heart that now I was going to get the rest and time to think and reset thatContinue reading “Panicked”
My Dad – someone who often was my whole world in my eyes – is the first person I’ve ever lost. This is my first experience of grief and I don’t know what to do. Grief lingers in dark corners and is a heavy weight on my heart. Grief doesn’t follow rules of times toContinue reading “Grief”
Quite a few friends have told me to that I should write a book about my Dad. I think they like my nostalgic Facebook posts and they think I have a wealth of knowledge on my Dad and that everything was rosey and tinted in a golden hue. That’s not the truth. The truth isContinue reading ““You should write a book about your Dad””
So today, I need to come up with a final decision for my boss. Here’s what’s been going on in the last few days: I’ve posted on Facebook about my struggle to decide and beloved friends have weighed in – albeit very gently – on it. Some are for staying, some are for leaving. Great.Continue reading “I’m walking away”
Well. It could go one of 2 ways, really. Whenever I came to Dad for advice, he’d either be compassionate and wise with some really good advice, or get really angry/annoyed at what I was asking about (maybe it was in the way I asked?) and would give me very sarcastic, hurtful advice…and possibly aContinue reading “What would Dad say?”
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