Some things stay the same…

I have so much to tell you and I’m so emotional about it so I’m not sure if it will come out right. I’m so angry, frustrated and upset that I just want to scream into a pillow for an hour. Have you ever felt like that? Bear with me. First of all – theContinue reading “Some things stay the same…”

Things I know about my Dad

Originally, I was going to call this “things I remember about Dad” but it’s too soon. He’s not ‘a memory’, he’s my Dad. He’ll forever be alive and well in my heart. So here’s what I know about him: Dad loved beer. A lot. Dad also loved talking for hours about nothing and everything. HeContinue reading “Things I know about my Dad”

Hurting

Oh My God This is painful, Lord. Losing my Dad is the most painful thing I have ever experienced And it’s ongoing. That’s the kicker. It doesn’t end. It shows you NO hope of letting up. My Dad 😭 My Dad is gone. Losing my Dad is like losing the marrow from my very bones.Continue reading “Hurting”

Panicked

I left work on Friday with a beautiful card of encouragement and love signed by everyone in my office, a little gift wrapped in flamingo paper (I’m hoping it’s a candle, I love candles) and hope in my heart that now I was going to get the rest and time to think and reset thatContinue reading “Panicked”

Grief

My Dad – someone who often was my whole world in my eyes – is the first person I’ve ever lost. This is my first experience of grief and I don’t know what to do. Grief lingers in dark corners and is a heavy weight on my heart. Grief doesn’t follow rules of times toContinue reading “Grief”

“You should write a book about your Dad”

Quite a few friends have told me to that I should write a book about my Dad. I think they like my nostalgic Facebook posts and they think I have a wealth of knowledge on my Dad and that everything was rosey and tinted in a golden hue. That’s not the truth. The truth isContinue reading ““You should write a book about your Dad””

I’m walking away

So today, I need to come up with a final decision for my boss. Here’s what’s been going on in the last few days: I’ve posted on Facebook about my struggle to decide and beloved friends have weighed in – albeit very gently – on it. Some are for staying, some are for leaving. Great.Continue reading “I’m walking away”

What would Dad say?

Well. It could go one of 2 ways, really. Whenever I came to Dad for advice, he’d either be compassionate and wise with some really good advice, or get really angry/annoyed at what I was asking about (maybe it was in the way I asked?) and would give me very sarcastic, hurtful advice…and possibly aContinue reading “What would Dad say?”