"I get knocked down, but I get up again"

I’m afraid to say it out loud because I feel like “life” is waiting for me. Waiting to hurt me. I’m scared that if I tell you I genuinely like my job, like the office, admire the building and even love the pretty park across the street – that life will overhear me and run me over with a bus on the way home.

But I’m going to take that risk today because guys, I really like where I work.

“Cupcake Kara” obviously does my head in, though. Ugh.

It’s like we’re operating on VERY DIFFERENT FREQUENCIES and the things she thinks are fine are really NOT OKAY with me – being force-fed a cupcake for instance. NOT COOL. That’s how old mate got her pseudonym. I suspect she might be on the asperges spectrum because she gets really, REALLY caught up in something very minor – strange buttons, strange addresses – and can’t let it go. She will FLAT OUT IGNORE the front counter line of sooo many customers because she’ll be stuck on a random form she can’t find. FOR HOURS. Seriously.

“Janet – I need the map for this area” she’ll say.

“Kara” I take deep breaths to keep my patience intact: “We don’t need maps right now, there are 8 people here wanting to be helped with their enquiries…can you please help out?”

She’ll ignore me. Kara will act as if I haven’t said a word.

“Just a small map will do” she’ll say.

OH, MY FUCKING WORD.

“Kara” *more deep breaths* “Can you please sign for the delivery or help this lady with her cat enquiry?” PLEASE???

“Because maps are important” she’ll reply, leaning into her screen like it’s foretelling the future “I really need one”.

I’ll tell you what you ‘need’, CK – a smack in the face. With a chair.

Or some psychiatric help. Either one.

Anyway.

More deep breaths.

I like it here. There. I said it. My bosses are nice, the staff are nice, the building is nice…this job ticks all my boxes.

However.

My contract runs out on the 3rd of April. That’s only a few weeks away. I’m used to this as a temp; so I normally start sending out my updated CV to other Agencies; letting them know I’m free for work from the beginning of April.

BUT.

This time, my lovely boss – we’ll call her “Laura” – put my name forward for a part time Administration job upstairs with the Environmental Team. That was SO NICE of her. I’m really blessed. The job with Environment starts on the same day (huh. Imagine that) that my contract here at the Front Counter comes to an end.

(I suspect there’s been a bit of wrangling between my current boss and my future boss to make sure the transition is smooth between this job and the new one).

I also love the idea of part-time work. 30 hours a week sounds PERFECT to me. I’ll have time to colour in after work, to write (YAAAASSS!!!!) time to take yoga classes (I love yoga), time to go on long walks….I’ll finally have time to tidy the house and do the laundry. It would be so great not to be working 45 hours a week anymore.

But, here’s the thing:

I got the job because the lady in the job at the moment is getting fired.

I met her, you know. She came by the other day (this was before the whole ‘getting fired’ thing got out) and asked me for directions to somewhere.

The lady – we’ll call her “Trisha” – seems so nice. Why is she getting fired? What did Trisha do wrong? She came across as quietly spoken, gentle and timid in a way. I know when she asked for directions, she was very polite and didn’t want to bother me. She kept apologising for not already knowing the way there.

“It’s okay Trisha – don’t worry” I tried to put her at ease “Between the two of us – and Google maps – we’ll find a way”.

I found the place, printed a map and gave it to Trisha who whispered “Thanks, Janet” with a bowed head and quietly left.

If they’re firing such a nice, quiet, sweet lady…what am I in for?

I see a lot of myself in Trisha – quiet. I don’t like to bother anyone, I apologise A LOT for just existing…

…how long is it going to be until I get fired, too?

Maybe I shouldn’t accept this new contract for 6 months?

Maybe it sounds too good to be true because it is?

They’re writing up my new contract next week – so I haven’t signed anything yet.

I need to be careful and cautious.

I don’t want to accept a role if I’m just going to be fired shortly after, I’d rather not have it at all and take some time off while I look for a new job.