1 girl but 2 very distinct personalities

I think that’s who I am. I’m essentially one girl but have 2 very different sides of myself.

Photo by Hudson Marques

One half of me is very sweet. Girly. Delicate. This half speaks softly and minds her manners. This half will write you an encouraging note when you’re having a bad day, hold your hand if you’re going through something painful, remember your birthday every year and have flowers delivered to you and is a gentle, caring, compassionate person. This half is the ‘people pleasing’ half of me that will say ‘yes’ to any request and go over and above to meet it. This half loves Jesus, attends Church on Sunday mornings, spends her free time singing to the garden as she weeds/waters/fertilises it, and loves reading and scrapbooking. This half really values quiet “alone time” and longs for it after a long day of work.

The other half of me will not hesitate to burn your house down if you give her ‘tone’ or sarcasm or straight up want to be nasty. This half is loud, brash, loves inappropriate humour, songs and shows. This half is DOWN for a good party and will stay up all night singing and causing a ruckus. This half is also part “Momma Bear”. Because Al and I chose not to have children, my friends are ‘my kids’ and I will protect them with everything I’ve got. The other day, for instance – my friend Sam and I went to lunch. The waitress brought her someone else’s order. Sam looked crestfallen at her chicken burger. To be fair, it looked pretty tasty, but she’d ordered a double cheeseburger at a new burger joint that she’d been looking forward to trying all week.

“Take it to the counter and tell them it’s not yours, my love” I encouraged, squeezing Sam’s arm gently across the table.

Sam had her head down and wouldn’t meet my eye “No, no” she responded “It’s okay…my fault for maybe ordering it wrong” She eyed the wrong burger sadly “I like chicken, Janet – this is fine”

NO. IT WAS NOT FINE AT ALL.

So my feisty half picked up her tray, took it to the counter and had it changed for what Samantha actually wanted.

“Thanks Janet” she beamed at me when the waitress laid a scrumptious double cheeseburger down in front of her moments later.

Anytime, girl. I’ve got you.

If the same had happened to ME, however – I would have accepted my fate just as Sam had tried to. But if ANYONE comes up against someone I love – oh boy. Watch out. I will come at you like a spider monkey to protect and stand up for the person I love.

Because I have two halves of myself, what comes out of my mouth at any given moment is a complete surprise to me. I can say appalling things or really moving things depending on which half decides to take charge.

It’s weird. My psych says it’s my response to being neglected as a child and experiencing a lot of trauma. I can see that.

I’m hoping this year to be more of a whole person – one with all the best bits from both sides of myself.

6 responses to “1 girl but 2 very distinct personalities”

  1. Won’t get on your wrong side then. Don’t want my house burnt down 🌚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahaha 😂 I like you, so you’re safe!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. 🌼🌼🌞🎂

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow! I could relate to everything you said!
    That was really sweet to do that for your friend.
    I think it’s important to keep in mind that we all have various facets to our personality. That’s natural. That’s exactly why I named my blog, “I AM ME ~ MULTI-FACETED LIKE A DIAMOND ~. So, don’t feel bad or dysfunctional because one day you feel happy and the next day you feel lousy.
    Like you, I was neglected all during my childhood and it has definitely affected me. My multiple concussions I sustained as a young child haven’t helped me either, making it very difficult to control my emotions. I now have to take medication for the rest of my life to keep my emotions in check. Anger is a real biggie for me. It can be scary at times. But, even for those of us who’ve suffered a lot as children and are dealing with a lot of trauma, it’s normal to have mood changes. When these moods get out of hand on a regular basis, then it’s a problem.
    Even those who don’t have emotional issues deal with mood changes. You are more ‘normal’ than you think. Try not to be so down on yourself.
    I completely understand your concern, though. On those really bad days I do my best to avoid people because I’m so afraid at what would come out of my mouth.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I think, if we’re honest with ourselves, we are all multifaceted (as Catwoman commented before me). I know I, too, have different sides of my personality. It depends on who I’m with, also. If I’m with a close friend, I can be myself with no pretence. If I’m with someone or a few people I don’t know well, I’m not as confident in myself and tend to put on a facade. Given the situation with you and your friend in the cafe/restaurant, I think I would have done the same thing for a friend, but when it comes to me, I might have just kept quiet and eaten it, although if it wasn’t vegan as I’d ordered, I would point this out to the waiter or waitress and asked for it to be changed. Earlier in my life, I definitely had a lot of jumbled-up ideas about who I was, which I’ve since worked on in therapy. That’s for a similar reason to yours, caused by childhood trauma. Thanks for sharing, Janet. Xx 💞

    Liked by 3 people

  4. I am on the same page with Ellie and catwoman here too. I think we all have a couple of personalities but yours are on very different sides of the spectrum. You might burn down someone’s house then help them put it out? HAHA. So honest and real. I tend to be more passive and then something stupid and minor happens and all hell breaks loose. Not very healthy but it is what it is. The big thing is that you recognize and perhaps you have named them so that if the need arises you can just “phone a friend” for help like you did for your friend’s food order. Either way, both are a part of who you are and makes you special.

    Liked by 1 person

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