Bloganuary – What’s a lie you tell yourself?

Having just read my friend Tommy’s answer to this January/Bloganuary prompt, I have a big smile on my face. As a Christian I’m struggling with finding Tommy’s use of “she called bullsh*t on that” really, really funny. I like a well-placed swearword, me. Sorry Jesus.

This is a great prompt and I’m looking forward to seeing how my blogging mates (Shanti, Sara, Mykl, Ellie and lovely 1972Italy lady – I’m looking at you guys right now) answer such a question. It has so much depth.

Because we lie to ourselves. A lot.

At least I know I do.

There are a whole bunch of lies I tell myself – so many in fact, that it’s surprised me to find this out about myself. I guess this is why I love the “Bloganuary Challenge” so much – it gives me the challenge of being introspective with parts of myself I will usually ignore or gloss over.

Lies I tell myself (in no particular order):

That my younger sibling loves me, he’s just really rubbish at showing it. THIS IS A LIE. Jay loves his wife, his children, gaming, playing the guitar and making money. Loads and loads of money. That’s it. I will never register on Jay’s “people I love” list, and the sooner I get that through my thick skull, the better I’ll be. The hurt can stop and I can start to heal AND MOVE ON.

That tomorrow I’ll diet. ‘Tomorrow’ in this case is a very fluid concept. I tell myself this lie as I’m thanking the “Uber Eats” guy when he passes me the paper bag with KFC’s logo on it. I tell myself this lie when I have biscuits and cake for tea because I can’t be bothered to make ‘real food’ for dinner. This lie lives with me constantly and I’m not even sure I recognize it as a lie anymore, it’s become so finely woven into my daily life.

I need to eat THIS ^^ instead of donuts.

That one day, I’ll get everyone’s approval. LIE. I don’t think I’ll ever get it. Funnily enough, it’s MUCH EASIER to P*SS EVERYONE OFF than it is to get everyone to like me. People are going to dislike me and probably have good reason for it. People are going to find me loud, brash, annoying, selfish and not very reliable – and they have every right to feel angry about that. I’m who I am. I’m obviously doing my best to improve…but I probably won’t show up to a lot of planned events because I’m usually being held hostage at home by depression and anxiety. Social anxiety in this case.

That I’m “curvy” and not fat. LIE. I AM HUGE. I need to accept this but it’s so hard when my view of myself is so tied up in what I WANT to look like rather than what actually is. I need to find a way to really look at myself, SEE MYSELF in the horrible, overweight, sweaty state I’m in…and do something about it.

So there you have it. The lies I tell myself. It’s definitely given me some goals to work out and achieve.

5 responses to “Bloganuary – What’s a lie you tell yourself?”

  1. I have the tomorrow problem, it gets to midnight then it’s 24 hours away again

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s a slippery one, for sure. Haha at least I’m not alone, Jo. Thank you for reaching out and commenting 🙂 xx

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh man, I can not believe that I was mentioned in your post! It totally lit me up. I have truly made it as it was you who got me started. I am honored. You are the best Janet, thank you. I am sad to hear the words that you use to describe who you are. You are an amazing, beautiful person who also wants to be more fit. So yesterday you had KFC. Today is a new day and a whole new opportunity to make choices that are more in line with feeling healthier. Just one choice to eat better this week, is one choice more than last. That would give you a 100% success rate of making choices. Soon two choices, then three, and soon well, who knows. And if you happen to make a bad choice, accept that it happened and it does not define all your choices, just that one. Making adjustments to nutrition is the hardest part of being more fit. You’ve got this my friend. You’ve got this.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Dear Janet, I am truly touched by your mentioning me in your post yesterday. As you say, I think we all have at least one lie that we tell ourselves, if not a lot more. It’s sad that you are so tough on yourself about your food and body image, my friend, although I do know how that feels, as one of the lies I tell myself is that I’ve got my eating under control. I lie to myself, saying it doesn’t matter, but really, it does.

    I’ve been from one end of the spectrum to the other. I’ve been anorexic on and off for much of my earlier life, and my lowest weight was 5.5 stones. I lied to myself then, as I kept saying I wasn’t underweight (having said that, I do recognise it was an illness). I’ve also been very overweight, which was evident to everyone, including me, as I’m only 5’2″. I lied to myself then, too, telling myself I didn’t know why I was so big when I was actually eating everything in sight; the unhealthier, the better (cakes, biscuits, cereal, chocolate, sweets, bread in all forms – bread with butter and jam was my weakness). Now, I’m doing Weight Watchers and have to keep an online account of every little thing that goes into my mouth – I’m finding it challenging, to say the least. Even though I’m losing really tiny bits each week, I’d like to say I record everything, but I’d be lying. The silly thing is that it’s only me who I’m kidding.

    You might be struggling with your eating, my friend, but remember you are a wonderful friend with a beautiful soul, and you are deserving of love, which I’m sending you in bucketsful today because you are definitely worth it; you are a special person with your own quirks as we all have. That doesn’t make you worth any less. I certainly value you fondly as a dear friend, even though we only meet here at WordPress. I’m so glad I met you here. (Sorry I’ve written so much – just got carried away a bit!) Warm and encouraging hugs for you Xxx 🤗💐💝

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Darling Ellie, you are medicine on a bruised heart. Thank you for meeting me where I am and sharing some of your powerful journey with your weight. It is heartbreaking what we go through – and not just as girls, I’m sure this affects men as well – with our weight plummeting (I can’t believe how skinny you got to – you must have been skin and bone) or skyrocketting. What gets me is how quickly it happens. You see yourself in a photo (usually taken by someone else) and think “oh God. Oh NOOOO” because you look absolutely out of control weight-wise.

    I’m so glad to have ‘met’ you online and you never have to apologise for writing a long response because words are my love language so when you offer a lot of them, the little lights in my heart twinkle.

    I’m going to be cheering you on in your corner with the weight watchers program. I believe in you and know you’ll get to a healthy and hopefully much happier place with your weight. I hope 2023 is the year you get to shine!

    Liked by 1 person

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