"I get knocked down, but I get up again"

Well.

Today’s bloganuary post will be very short because I can’t trace my family tree back that far. I envy people who can. It must be amazing.

For one, half of my tree is missing. I don’t know who my birth father is or who his family are, or where my African-American roots are based. I could be a sister to A LOT of siblings over in the US right now and I just don’t know it. My family tree could be HUGE. I just don’t know.

The half I do know about is that my Mom is Filipino so half of me is, too.

As I’ve said earlier, I didn’t know my Grandparents on my Mom’s side. I don’t know who my Auntys and Uncles in the Philippines are. I do have an Aunty that Mom flew over to Australia about 20 years ago. My Aunty Eva. She had 2 beautiful daughters and I know my cousin Demi because we message infrequently on Facebook. Demi is drop-dead gorgeous and does her makeup perfectly. She’s so beautiful. Demi dances professionally (hip hop) and is amazing. She’s super talented. I’m really proud of her.

Dad – who raised me since I was 3 and I’ve always called him “Dad” and never thought of him as a Stepfather until my half-brother was born and the family dynamics changed – had 2 brothers – one older (Uncle Trevor) and one younger (Uncle Andrew). I met his Mom. She was very thin, very frail, spoke quietly and smelled of wet dog and roses. She wore delicate cardigans and looked like the older, female version of my Dad. My Grandmother had dementia so that was heartbreaking for my Dad. I was 13 at the time and too self-obsessed to understand the effects of dementia and how it tears up families. I wish I could go back and support my Dad more. I wish I’d gently held my Grandmother’s hand and read her stories or put old records on for her. I wish. I wish…

So that’s my family tree. The historical one.

My ACTUAL FAMILY is Alun – my husband – and my friends, who are there for me come what may and are the lights of my life. THAT tree is a Christmas one – glittering, smells of lemon (not pine, go with me on this one), and each bauble is personalised with a friend’s name in golden calligraphy. I love my friends and they are the tree I stand under when it rains. I’m so grateful for the people in my life who truly love me. No strings attached. No expectation or demands…just love.