"I get knocked down, but I get up again"

I was out of work for about 6 weeks. That was over a month of bills coming OUT and nothing coming IN. I used my lovely $2K savings making sure everything got paid on time.

The STRESS!!! Arghhhhhh!!!

3-4 weeks of hospital, then 2 weeks of serious job-hunting before I found a temp position for 1 week, then another one straight after for “about 6 weeks – could be longer or shorter depending on what they need”.

Honestly? I’m just grateful to have a job.

Thank you, Father God.

The first week I was a temp receptionist for the Deputy Premier of all people. He is just under the PREMIER FOR THE WHOLE OF WA so that’s a huge deal. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but everyone was really, really nice. Even the DP said “Hello” once when he was coming into work. Ministers and especially Deputy Premiers (they’re higher up than Ministers) tend to distance themselves from their staff – especially the receptionists. There is a sense of “I’m far too good for you” there. I know I felt that in my last experience at *House of Ministers* (name changed so they don’t sue me, hahahahha).

I worked for “Minister P” 6 years ago – and he was definitely ‘snooty’ and didn’t speak to me once in my entire 3 months there; even though I greeted him with a friendly “Hello” or “Good morning/afternoon” every single day. The Office Manager there was a BULLY and delighted in putting me down, saying highly racist things to me and making me cry. I once asked her “Has anyone else told you how hurtful and spiteful you are?” and her answer? “Not at home”.

Not. At. Home.

So she admits she’s intollerable outside of her home. What a d*ckhead.

Anyway, I really enjoyed my week at such a prestigious job. I wasn’t expecting to. Maybe that’s the key? Come in with low expectations and my walls up – so that way, I’m protected and anything good that happens is a bonus?

Check out the office and the awesome views:

Now, I’m going into week 2 of my new job as Administrator for the HR Department in Local Government. This Local Government office specialises in everything my Uni Degree was created for – sustainability, ecology, town planning and community development.

I’m so excited to be in a role that I’ve literally studied 4 years to be in. I love being able to re-write/update policies (my Bosses trust me with really important work, I can’t believe it) because I know so much about it. I’ve run some ideas/thoughts by my Boss and “Andy” is so excited about it and supports me on everything “Great idea, Janet” “Awesome work on this document/that policy”. I feel seen, heard and appreciated…so every morning I don’t struggle getting up and going to work. I actually look forward to going in. What a blessing.

It’s a very small ‘team’, so there’s “Andy”, “June”, “Barbara”, “Melissa” and “Shaun”. Melissa and Shaun work out on site, so they’re always in high-vis work-wear and I don’t see them often, but whenever they ‘pop in’ to the office (awkward because I’ve been given Shaun’s desk and there are only 5 desks in the office, so Shaun has nowhere to sit when everyone’s in the office and just stands faithfully next to Melissa at her desk) – there’s so much laughter and fun between them all. It’s a beautiful thing to witness and makes the office atmosphere really happy. I can feel the happiness whenever I open the door to the office every morning. It’s lovely and I’m so grateful to be there.

Alun asked if I mentioned I’ve got a degree in Community Development as there’s a job being advertised for a Sustainability Officer. I think it pays a fortune (!!!) and has a lot of responsibility. I love that Alun naturally assumes I should get the job, bless him. I told Alun I felt ‘awkward’ about mentioning my degree (I mean, come on – there aren’t many ways to introduce it into conversation, is there?) but at his insistence, I emailed my boss “Andy” this weekend and told him. I also added “No pressure to do anything about it, I just wanted you to know I’m capable” at the end.

Lord help me.

In other news (Omg there’s SO MUCH to catch you up on), Mom is hitting me up for money again. It was a lovely 4-5 weeks break where her Centrelink payments started coming in and I thought with relief that I could stop carrying Mom financially and that our Government system could take over for me. At last. Alun and I did agree to keep our direct debits in place for Mom (she’s so bloody cheeky to ask but we love her so we agreed) so on top of her massive Government pay-out, Mom still gets $100 a week from Alun and $50 a week from me. So now, Mom will be absolutely FINE financially. I don’t have to sweat about it 24/7 any more. At the time, it felt like having a heavy backpack taken off my shoulders and when I walked, I literally felt lighter.

But the “can I just have $100/$200…etc etc” messages have started up again.

IT MAKES ME FUCKING FURIOUS.

MOM!!! You have a HUGE Centrelink payment every fortnight (Honestly, it’s astonishing how much Mom gets paid for free. I work my ASS OFF for similar pay), you’re still getting payments from Al and I – AND you have NO BILLS or RENT to pay because you live with Jay… SO WHERE IS ALL YOUR FUCKING MONEY GOING?!?

What I would LOVE to say:

“Mom, I love you very much but I’m not going to transfer any extra money (no more than the $50 I already send weekly) to you now – or in future because you have to be responsible for your income”.

Oh, to be able to speak those words. They’re like organic honey in my mouth. Delicious. I so badly want to bring those words to life.

But the words “Dad died and Mom is the only parent you have left” are more powerful, so I instantly transfered the money. Mom skips off happily into the Sunset (or Casino??? Is that where it all goes???) with it and I feel more bricks added to my invisible backpack again. How long, Lord? How long is this going to go on?

Alun is really struggling. I’m really worried about him. He’s had FOUR friends DIE this year… which means he’s attended FOUR TOO MANY FUNERALS – all in the one year. To deal with the immense, seemingly never ending grief, Alun’s drinking way, way too much. This is the most I’ve ever seen him drink on such a regular basis. Al’s really unhappy and it breaks my heart to see him destroy himself with alcohol. I’ve tried so many times to get Alun to see a Counsellor for help. He always refuses. At the moment, I’ve been ever-so-slightly successful in at least getting Alun to tell his boss he’s feeling ‘a bit emotionally fragile this week’ (the week of his best friend Eddie’s funeral) and his boss has been amazing and told Alun to ‘take some time off, buddy – I’m here for you if you need to talk’.

SO – TALK TO HIM, ALUN! PLEASE!!!

I asked, and Al tearfully admitted that his “ideal situation” is to step down a level from his management promotion to ‘just be a normal Nurse again’.

I told Alun that his dream IS ABSOLUTELY ATTAINABLE.

He can literally say to his really nice boss: “My mental and emotional health has taken a big hit this year and I’m really struggling. Ideally, I would like to step down from Level 3 roles and return to Level 2 Nursing on the ward…could you please help me?”

AND I KNOW “Sam” (his boss) WOULD DEFINITELY HELP HIM.

Then I’d get my HAPPY, cheeky, singing, dancing husband back again. Not the surly, grumpy, burnt-out and often really, really drunk version I have to watch with my heart breaking.

Alun, my love – there is a way OUT of this if you just raise your voice. All you have to do is ASK FOR HELP and HELP WILL BE GIVEN to you. Just take that first step, darling. That’s literally ALL you have to do and from then, EVERYTHING will get so much better.

I can’t bring your beloved friends back…but I can help you at least make your job easier so that you’re not dreading going in any more.

Alun is an incredible Nurse, you guys. He goes “the extra mile” for every single patient. He notices things normal people (lol – including me) probably wouldn’t notice – like if a patient is shivering – even just slightly, Alun will warm a blanket (they have a special ‘warmer’ for this) and tenderly drape it around them. If a patient is looking hungrily at another person eating, Alun will rush off to the Hospital kitchen and “grab a couple sandwiches” for that person. Patients with broken legs, Alun will bring a cushion for them so their leg is more comfortable on the chair it’s raised upon. Alun will turn the TV back on for patients who were watching a show but were interupted by a Doctor’s visit. The Doctor will come along, switch off the TV and assess the patient’s progress…then leave – with the remote across the room where the patient can’t bloody reach it. Alun notices and puts the remote back onto their tray/table. He also happily (and generously) pays for TV subscriptions for patients who are bored and can’t afford it.

Alun is the Nurse I’d want looking after my loved ones – he’s absolutely incredible. As well as being super intelligent and knowing his Nursing role inside-out and back-to-front, Alun thinks of new ideas and new ways to provide AWESOME care for patients AND HAS SO MUCH COMPASSION and KINDNESS towards every single patient that I think he’s changing the Emergency ward one patient at a time into a place that’s next level.

I’m off to the Galleria (our nearest Mall for you readers from abroad) today to gift wrap for the day – helping to raise money for the Salvation Army. I’m SO EXCITED to wrap and can’t wait to get started. What an awesome way to help such a wonderful, worthy cause – by doing something I love! YASS!!!

I’ve talked for AGES, I know. I’ll finish up here.

Please write and let me know how you’re going – you know I love to hear from you xx