“I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy”

Well. I obviously need to read my Bible and have a more regular attendance at Church because I would.

My worst enemies? I hope they suffer.

I’m concerned about how cold and uncaring I am when it comes to people that have hurt me, abused me, betrayed me and used me.

I have absolutely no compassion for them whatsoever.

This is a toxic trait of mine. I pray that Jesus is able to fix me, heal me and make me someone gracious who wouldn’t wish harm on their enemies.

I think because I’ve been hurt sooo deeply. So badly. It’s been so hard to recover after what certain people have done to me because afterwards they didn’t get disciplined. They didn’t lose anything. If anything, while I’ve suffered incredible pain, the people who put me through the experience went on to propser.

That’s the part I really struggle with.

There was no vindication. No justice.

Just pain.

Then anger and resentment on my part because what someone did to me – and got away with – is so incredibly unfair that it feels like an insult in a way.

So yeah. I’m pretty LIVID about things that feel unfair.

What Jesus wants from me

Jesus, please forgive me and please help me to be forgiving and gracious to others.

13 responses to ““I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy””

  1. I understand how you feel. I have been severely wronged by many people, to the point where I absolutely burned with hatred towards one when I thought about them. I knew it wasn’t right and not what God wanted, Jesus having said hatred being equal to murder (1 John 3:15). I went to my Pastor when I couldn’t move past my feelings towards my literal worst enemy.
    His advice was to pray for them. The enemy (Satan) wants to hold you in those feelings and wins when we have feelings of animosity towards those who have wronged us. The last thing he wants us to do is pray for those who wronged us. He wants those feelings to build in us and perhaps lead us further down the wrong path, away from Jesus’s example of love and forgiveness.
    Now I’m not saying pray for them to be showered with blessings, that’s a pretty difficult thing to pray for, for your enemies. I started praying that they find God and change their ways. It was a change from putting energy out there of wishing them harm, and I’m not gonna lie…it was hard at first. But, I found those feelings of wanting those who caused me unimaginable pain to suffer their consequences morphed into a different feeling over time. And it did take time.
    Ultimately our goal is to be like Christ. If He can forgive a fellow who murdered his followers (Saul) and show love to the man He knew would betray Him (Judas), then I can at least pray for those who have hurt me.
    I pray this has helped somewhat. I know everyone is different and what’s helped me, may not be useful for you. I hope that you find some relief from the feelings you’re struggling with 💜

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello sweet lady, thank you so much for taking the time to comment and share your journey of forgiveness with me. I am in awe of how loving you are and how much you follow Jesus’s incredible example of praying for those who hurt you. I’m praying God will lead me and guide me to not wish harm on those who hurt me. I think that will be my first baby step towards the person Jesus wants me to be. I’ll take it a step at a time and all the while, God will be changing my heart.
      I see sooo much love and kindness in how you live your life. You lead a great example and I hope to do the same one day xx

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I usually temper it with “what they deserve.” Not “what I think they deserve.” Everyone gets what is coming to them. I don’t blame you for your anger. Just don’t let it take you over. Dwelling on the wrongs done to you won’t help you move forward. Big hugs from Michigan!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. That’s such an interesting new perspective “what they deserve” V’s what I think certain people deserve (ie, NOTHING). I’m hoping to move forward with love in my heart and a lot less anger. I read somewhere that hating someone is like drinking poison and hoping THEY get the effect. I think that’s what my anger is like – it negatively affects ME. Only. The person who hurt me is living their best life so I have to learn to let GO of “revenge” and focus on my own life and building my own happiness 😊

      Liked by 3 people

      1. It’s hard to do. But it can be done. I found that if I let myself experience the anger then let it go I felt better. Don’t deny the anger. Especially if it is justified. But learn to let it go. It took me several years of trial and error.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I love that you’re not saying “don’t be angry”, you’re allowing me to feel jipped but that you don’t want me to wallow in it. I so respect and appreciate that.

        Liked by 1 person

    2. Also…big hugs back to you and Stella from hot, sweaty, sunny Western Australia 🇦🇺 💖

      Liked by 1 person

      1. We have cold and snow here so both pups are curled up behind me asleep. Oooo! Bear sends hugs too!😁❤️🐾

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I have a person in my life that due to the situation, I made the choice to hold my tongue and refuse to reciprocate what was being done to me and my family. My words would have been used in such harmful ways towards others just to hurt me that I chose to bottle the anger, stress, frustration, and sometimes hatred inside. The results of that choice have been next level successful and I would not have changed a thing. However, it has been decades of suppressed emotion and I know that it is healthy to vent and then release. I have been encouraged to take the time to mourn my loses, Dad, business, etc. In that same light, it is suggested that I take the time to recognize all the harm that others have done to me. Similar to a couple comments above, my wife and my therapist both suggested an “F. U. ” journal. A no holes barred opportunity to write down all the things that I would have wanted to say at the time I was being intentionally hurt and a full on attempt to destroy my life and existing relationships with my family. It was suggested that I write, pen to paper, not digital, so that I could really feel. Then,,,,,, grab a drink (or the whole bottle, HAHA) and burn the damn thing. I have not completed this yet but I will. Just a thought as you work through your options here. I am not thinking that this is the “Christian” way, but for me it is time to let it go. I feel your internal struggle with this. It took me years to realize that I had not allowed myself to be angry at the time and that, in and of itself has been harmful. You do not sound like a bad person to me because you hate something or someone that has wronged you. You sound like a human, full of emotion. Whatever path you choose, I hope that it is exactly what you need to heal and move on. All my best to you. FYI, my wife’s bucket list vacation is Australia. Not sure it will ever happen but perhaps some day. Sending thoughts of happiness, health, and safety your way from cold north east America.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Dear Janet, thank you for sharing part of your story so honestly. I’m so very sorry that you’ve been hurt so much. I can totally identify with your feelings regarding anger and forgiveness. I can appreciate that you (and many of your readers) have a strong faith, and I’m pleased that you can seek comfort there even if, at times, that’s difficult. As for me, I was brought up without religion at all. You mentioned that the people who hurt you so badly weren’t brought to justice. Neither was my abuser; he left the country before the police could investigate the case. I have a lot of anger towards him but have never found anywhere to put it other than to express it in my writing. I’m not able to be angry verbally. I spoke to my counsellor last week about forgiveness, and she said it’s a very personal thing, but it’s not necessarily right for everybody. I’m afraid I can’t forgive the person who hurt me so dreadfully and threw a wrecking ball into my life. I’m 65 and still dealing with the after-effects. It’s a hard road. However, we ‘do’ anger and forgiveness, it’s a very individual matter. I wish you so well on your journey into resolving some of your inner feelings and emotions. Sending you love, light, comfort and peace … Ellie Xx 💝🌷💕

    Liked by 2 people

  5. It’s so hard ..I am unable to forgive too. Especially this individual who was supposed to be a friend but bullied and belittled me at work using private information she knew of me. I definitely still feel the resentment even though I wish so much I could let it go. It’s only hurting me but yeah..I feel there is no karma or justice when people act unethically just to fulfill their ambitions at the expense of others.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I see you, Shanti. I love your kind heart and I’m so blessed whenever you comment on my posts. I’m so sorry you were so badly treated in work by someone you trusted. I’m so angry on your behalf.

      I think it’s the unjust state of things that makes me want vengeance so much. If the people who hurt me were disciplined, I’d find it easier to let go…but people who hurt, abused and knocked me down who are posting about their happy lives, expensive gifts and sunny holidays make me so angry. It’s so hard to be forgiving when I see them literally getting away with everything they did. Grr.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Wow I really feel you on that one

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: