Alun is fast asleep, softly snoring in beside me in bed. It’s so weird that when you get older, it’s the smallest moments and simplest times that mean the most.
I’ve turned it off so Alun gets a good sleep, but my bedside lamp was on earlier just so I could watch Alun sleep. He’s so handsome it melts my heart. Stupid, I know…(or creepy???)…but oh man, I love to watch my husband sleep. I love how Alun’s face is still boyish. I love his thick lashes and eyebrows that move up and down in his sleep, making me think he’s having interesting dreams. I love his deep, even breaths and most of all, I love how safe and still Alun is. Weird, huh?
We had a good day but filled with “doing things” which I felt we both forced ourselves to do so that we could make this holiday “fun”. Ironic because if we’d both been honest, we probably would have preferred to stay at the cottage and just potter about.
Instead, we went to a “food and wine” store, checked out Ocean Beach (it was so lovely hearing the waves), went to an expensive lunch (how is $80 for a tasting plate ok?!,) and came back to the cottage tired…and mostly full of cheese. Cheese is one of my favourite things to eat – but because I’m lactose intolerant I’m not supposed to eat dairy and end up incredibly uncomfortable for the rest of the afternoon as my body tries to process something it’s unsure about.
Will I stop eating cheese or icecream though?
All around me tonight is the cacophony of frogs. I think the lake by the cottage must attract them. There are so many different frog noises, I’m imagining that outside are tiny market stalls and frogs are out buying trinkets or food. The frog customers are happily bantering/arguing with the frog sellers. I wonder what they use as currency?
I should be asleep but I had a 2-hour nap earlier this afternoon. Oops.
I’m also trying to adjust to being out in the world instead of nestled safely in my private hospital room on the Psych ward. I was there a month, I think. Long enough to have formed new habits and comfortable schedules that are obviously not suitable in the real world and would be especially weird while on holiday.
I miss hearing a quiet tap on my door every hour; and seeing a Nurse poke her friendly face in to ask if I’m ok. It gave me so much comfort.
Now I’m responsible for myself.
This is scary and a lot harder than I expected.
I hope tomorrow that Alun gets some rest, I think he needs this holiday a lot more than I do.
Ok. I’d better try to sleep.
Here are some photos from today’s adventures here in Denmark Western Australia.
Night, everyone 😴
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