The heart of my Memoir

I signed onto a free online class about Memoir writing today. It was difficult to concentrate solely on the class and not look around the room or let my mind drift off to other things.

Something I picked up on was finding the heart of my Memoir. The Lecturer said her Memoir started out as a huge 600 page novel. She was asked to turn it into a live play (go figure) so she had to whittle it down to just 30 pages of script.

That’s a huge cut.

The lecturer said it made her really look at what she’d written about, what was most important to share and what not to include which ultimately made her play really popular.

She said to think through a memoir and to take a step back and really think about the heart of a memoir – what was the main message and what parts supported that. She recommended cutting out whatever didn’t support the main theme.

Another part that stood out to me was the Lecturer asking “What is it that taps you on the shoulder and demands to be written about?”

I thought my Memoir was about adversity and overcoming but when I thought deeply about it…it’s my relationships with others that have affected me most.

The part of my life that “taps me on the shoulder” is mostly my life with Matt – or in many cases – without him.

The constant push and pull of my unrealistic goals, dreams and wishes against the reality of Matt’s gritty life weaves a scarlet thread throughout 2/3rds of my life.

That’s pretty striking, no?

For 3 decades I’ve been measuring every other guy against my “Matt standard” and coming up short. I’ve also made a lot of huge life choices in favour of either wanting to extend a relationship with Matt or wanting him back in my life years after he’s left me.

Pathetic in many ways…but it’s at the middle of sooo much of what’s happened in my life.

The heart of my Memoir is relationships.

My roller-coaster relationship with MYSELF is one of the toughest in my life.

Relationships with my family, my friends, guys I’ve dated, my bosses, my co-workers and even with psychologists.

Relationships have made me, broken me, betrayed me, excited me, inspired me, developed me, nearly killed me and helped build me back up again.

Sooooooo I need to re-think and re-draft yet another time; crafting my chapters to lead the reader over and over again to the relationships I’ve had.


8 responses to “The heart of my Memoir”

  1. That is a really good photo.not really on topic, but still.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Lol thank you, Mykl. It was taken 6 years ago. I’m absolutely HUGE now and really ugly.


  2. The editing can be the hardest part, especially when it is so personal and you need to revisit the pain over and over again. Much love and good luck❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. thank you so much for reaching out. Editing is so hard to do – I can’t see the wood for the trees! Lol xx

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You are more than welcome…I know editing fiction is so much easier than doing a memoir. You are very brave❤️

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I’m also incredibly narcissistic lol. I love writing my own story so much! Even when this process is challenging, I’m enjoying it 😀

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I found this really helpful. I started writing a book recently and found that I it felt like I was including things that I wasn’t sure were relevant to where I was taking my story. Now I need to sit and think about the heart of it. Thank you!
    Good luck with your writing/editing now that you’ve figured out the heart of your memoir!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I hope you’re able to see your book with God’s wisdom so you can cut anything that’s not what the heart of your book is about 💗

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: