Missing my Dad

Because of my overdose on Sunday, Doctors want my blood and urine tested and to put an IV drip in me to help my liver and kidneys out.

The downside of this is that mental health Nurses are trying to get to my “petite” (aka tricky AF) veins. I don’t have a lot of faith in them to do medical duties because in my mind, they’re here to listen (the good ones do) and keep an eye on distressed patients so they’re kept safe.

Whenever I’ve had to see a Doctor or go to the Hospital in the past, my Dad has taken me. Just him and I. Always. He’s stayed by my side as medical staff prod and poke with sharp, horrible needles and when tears are flowing and I can’t see through them, Dad will stand up (literally), stand in front of me and say with great Authority “No more! Nope! Bugger off, we’ve had enough!”.

On the 4th painful attempt today, I pictured my Dad in the chair by the bed. He gave his familiar wink that has always silently said to me “You’re ok, I’m here”.

I really wish my Dad was here. I miss him sooo much.

Both arms hurt. I miss my Dad 😭

JD, you’re 45 years old…you don’t “need” your Dad around when you have needles, you need to grow up, for goodness sakes.

7 responses to “Missing my Dad”

  1. Oh wow your dad sounds amazing I think you were his favoured girl for sure. I know that feeling well. Wanting my dad by me even now at age 51. It never goes away… that longing. Nothing like being protected by your dad.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I wish you a speedy recovery, a wholesome recovery, body mind and soul. It is hard to go on when nothing seems worth it. I find you strong and courageous (ironically) for attempting to jump ship, I don’t even have the balls. ( I know that sounds weird and a little dark).
    XOXO Jane, continue to fight.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sending you big hugs, lovely girl. Thank you sooo much for your kind comments ❤️ xoxo

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh my gosh this triggered me so much. So when I was a kid, I just have to get allergy shots and after about a year or two the shots started making me sick and it wasn’t. It wasn’t bad enough that they stopped but nobody really noticed so. There was a real sort of feeling in my body of. Oh no it’s it’s time to go get a shot and that would make me get anxious and weird and kind of scared because I was a little. And so I have this fear of needles I don’t like them and if I have to get a shot I’m just not happy.
    So I can still get shots I can still give blood but I just have to go through like a process. I have to like psych myself up for it. I have to be real positive. So about six months ago I got an email from my doctor said hey it’s time for you to give some blood and I went to the hospital Kaiser, which is the place that I go here in California And they have a policy where you can only be poked three times by each person and if they don’t get the blood then they have to move onto the next person. So on that particular day i ran out of people. there were two guys and three girls working there and each one of them tried three times I felt like a pin cushion. I don’t know what the girl who finally got it done did differently she put a heat pack on my hand and an ice pack and a couple other things, and when it finally worked, she looked me right in the eyes and said man you’re really sweating, you’re already a little dehydrated you should you should have some more juice juice boxes so they gave me these little juice you know 4 ounce 6 ounce juice boxes and she said I try to drink a couple of these and I’m like are you kidding? Give me 50 and he’s out drink them all so she looks at me and she says oh are you thirsty? And I said yes I’ll be in if I am she says hi and she laughs. She just laughs a little bit and she says I’m gonna clue you in on something if you’re thirsty, it means you’re probably already dehydrated at the point when you feel thirsty, you should’ve already drank water and I said OK thanks for that And I’m thinking to myself well great thanks for the advice like you know weird weird weird thing to do lady. And she says anytime you’re giving blood you need to make sure you’re not even slightly dehydrated and I just stared at her for a long time and then I said so I mean I noticed you guys got a bathroom right there, so if I have to come in here and give blood, how much should I drink before I come in and she said like 32 ounces would be would be the best if you are not thirsty at all, if you’re even slightly thirsty more. Let me tell you the next time I went and had to give blood to get a test done. I stopped at grocery outlet and I got some kind of juice, I think it was cranberry pineapple and it was in a 64 ounce container and I said OK I’m just gonna drink some of this until I I don’t feel like I can drink anymore and I drank practically the entire thing I was like a crap I’m probably a little dehydrated so I had to wait in line for I don’t know 3040 minutes just sitting there before I got to go back and get my blood and I had to go to the bathroom like three times before they did it at that point I was totally nervous because I thought oh man I have to go to the bathroom I’m going to be dehydrated and I got the same woman And she remembered me and she smiled and she said so are you thirsty and I smiled back at her and said no ma’am we need to. We need to hurry this along because I’m gonna have to go to the bathroom again soon and I told her exactly how much I drank, and she just laughed so hard it really made my day. She laughed so hard at, and she told me that I just made her day Because a lot of times people don’t really listen to people at work and they tell people something and they don’t even care and so she was just thrilled but she also added that I might’ve overdone it a little bit so I I hate giving blood I hate giving blood so there you go that was practically a blog entry and it’s on its own so And it is late and I do have some insomnia, so yeah it’s lovely that you’re gonna be stuck in a in a place with your phone for a long time you’ve got to stop me that’s the ideal place to block I guess. So keep calm and carry on, your dear doing what you need to do and it’s a good thing I will come up with a way to record some kind of voice that I just haven’t done it yet. I am there you go.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I loved that story. Thinking of you drinking a huge bottle of juice and the Nurse laughing makes me smile. That’s a great tip, too. I’m ALWAYS dehydrated so I’ll make sure to drink lots before my next blood test and tell you how it goes. I hope it’s a long time before you have to have another needle. They suck.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I get needlestick injuries cause my veins are the opposite. They roll around when they try to take blood and so have to have a couple of goes. I hate needles too but cause of my health issues there is no avoiding it.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. that’s so awful for you have to endure 😦 I’m so sorry you go through that. Sending you a gentle cuddle xx


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