Why a Memoir is important.

When my Dad died, friends who didn’t know him asked me about him. “What was he like?”. Thankfully, I knew my Dad well…or so I thought until I started reading about “writing a great memoir” and seeing that one of the reasons for doing so is so that someone can really know you.

I know my Dad added tobasco to almost every savoury meal. He liked “Lunig” cartoons. Dad would talk to anyone about pretty much anything because he loved “having a yarn” (Australian for a long chat) with anyone willing to engage in it. Dad loved “the underdog” and was inspired by people who started with nothing, then became successful business entrepreneurs or scholars or famous…Dad loved knowing there was hope of a better future.

Dad loved being silly.

But I don’t know why my Dad became a painter. Did he study at College? Did he choose that profession or was he made to do it just to pay bills? What was my Dad afraid of? What did he worry about? What did he dream about and aspire to be? Really?

Dad loved cheesy romance songs. I don’t know why, though. Dad was big on English humour. Jay and I grew up with episodes of “Steptoe and Son”, “Monty Python”, “Faulty Towers” “Hancock’s half hour” on the telly. Dad roared laughing at his favourite episodes and had a wry sense of humour. Why were these his favourite shows?

Dad was especially proud of being Australian and had the thickest, most “Occer” (Australian word for “next level Australian”) accent. You would never tell he grew up in Ipswich, UK. But I never knew why Dad embraced being Australian so passionately. What made he and Mom move to Australia of all places and why the very tip of the NT?

I would have loved to have read my Dad’s Memoir, you know. I wonder if Dad kept diaries? Did he journal?

This inspires me to keep going with my manuscript. I hope to have in print the person I am and why I am the way I am.

If I die, someone can read about my hopes, dreams, fears, experiences and struggles. Someone who reads it will know me for who I really am.

I hope they’ll like me.

If anyone read my Dad’s Memoir, I definitely think they’d like him.

7 responses to “Why a Memoir is important.”

  1. Absolutely fascinating. Coming to your blog always provoke thought in me. And of the guzillion questions I still have for my dad.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ve loved hearing about your Dad in your blog, Shanti. Ngl, your blog is one of my favourites and I make time especially to read what you’ve written. Your Dad sounds like a steady, kind man who loved you very much. I get the feeling you were his favourite? Or maybe I read too much into the beautiful memories you have of him. Unfortunately we only seem to REALLY appreciate our parents once they’re gone. Heartbreaking yet true 💔

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Actually I feel the same with your dad. It’s like you were his darling for sure. 💕 With loss, it’s the unknown that’s frustrating to me. Where is my dad? It’s like he’s on a trip somewhere, but he can’t contact me. But that’s life. Just wish we could have more answers that comfort us.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. My Dad aggressively favoured my brother – who was “his son” whereas I’m his step-daughter and strived constantly to gain my Dad’s approval. I didn’t get it until I started to not give a f*ck whether he loved me or not…that was the game changer and we’ve been close ever since. I too think my Dad is “out there somewhere”, wandering about. I think we both lost our Dad’s in strange circumstances where they were abroad when they died…it is a horrible sense of loss because there seems no closure…they are in the ether…just finding their way home to us 😢

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Somehow you seem to have a closer deep relationship with your dad from what you describe. Yes it’s too hard not to be able to ‘contact’ them. & I totally get why you wouldn’t want to see his urn. Somehow it’s less traumatic to have the last image of them be of them well & alive.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. My friends mum wrote a memoir as part of a seniors writing group. When she passed we had a memorial service. The MC took all his stories from her memoir. It was amazing to see the breadth and depth of her life. It was a true celebration.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is so beautiful and beats the usual “she was kind, well liked in the community and loved by her family” funeral speech. It sounds wonderful that you were all able to see her life as she wanted you to see it and to hopefully come away feeling like she was right there with you all just from knowing her better 💗

      Liked by 1 person

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