"I get knocked down, but I get up again"

Another happy memory came to me so I thought I’d write about it.

This one’s brought to you by my friend Troy. Not the Troy that I lost through schizophrenia…this Troy I met through an online dating site 13 years ago. Lol.

I liked Troy’s profile so I messaged him (rare as guys everywhere were so keen to message me that I think Troy was the only guy I actively sought out) and asked to be added to his “favourites” so we could talk to each other online.

Troy added me (woohoo) and although we “talked” online and got along so well, he lived in Melbourne, I was in Perth (on the other side of Australia) and we weren’t in love. I was definitely not up for moving across Australia for someone I liked a lot but had no spark with. Troy felt the same so we agreed to be friends. And so we have been, for a very long time.

6 years ago, I was in a dark place. A GP had changed my antidepressants and put me on a new set that actually had the weird side affect of making the person taking them suicidal. Well done, pharmacists. You tools.

I was going to hang myself.

Troy rang just as I was figuring out that I didn’t know how to tie a noose. Maybe I could google a rope knotting course?

He realised right away that I was in a bad place.

His breathing sped up and I could hear him panicking and pacing the room.

“What do I do? I’m so far away!” Troy’s concern touched my heart. In the state of mind I was in, that feeling didn’t last, though.

“I just can’t go on” I admitted. I was so lost. In my darkness I clung to Troy’s kind voice like a Lifeline.

“OK. Just hold on” Troy pleaded.

“I can’t” I was crying. So lost and so desperate to end the pain and suffering.

“Are you alone right now?” Troy’s breath was ragged.

“Uh huh” I nodded and wiped my nose with the collar of my shirt.

“When does Alun get home?”

“He left not long ago…so he won’t be home for 8 hours” I looked around at the garden. I was going to miss planting new flowers and seeing them grow. Yet still, I wanted to die.

What Troy said next literally saved my life:

“Then I’ll stay on the phone with you until Alun gets home” Troy somberly promised.

At first, I couldn’t believe it.

What did he just say? That he’d stay on the phone with me for 8 hours?!?

“Janet?” Troy’s concern felt like a reassuring hug over the miles that held us apart “You there?”

“I’m here”

Troy let out a huge breath.

“So…wanna talk to me while I make my bed?” Troy offered “I’ll put my earphones in so I’ll have my hands free. I’ll tidy up around here and just listen to you”.

I laughed. The sound of it surprised us both. Troy was going to make his bed while saving my life? That type of multitasking brought a smile to my lips.

Having Troy distract me by talking to me about his day, asking about mine and doing every-day housework while rescuing me…that changed everything.

An hour later and we were both calm, breathing evenly, joking about tambourines (people feel so entitled on them) and I felt so. much. better.

The rope got coiled and quietly returned to the shed.

Alun was none the wiser.

In my imagination, Troy took his superhero cape off that evening, folded it neatly and put it in the drawer for another time.

Sometimes being a hero isn’t saving 100’s from a burning building…Sometimes it’s committing however long it takes on a phone call to a friend to save one life.

Ps. Troy and I are still close friends and talk 2-3 times a week every week and have kept this tradition for 13 years. I just spoke to him yesterday about the show “Farmer wants a wife” in fact. #blessed