Why do we apologise when we cry?

I do it, and I notice sooo many others that do it, too…we say “sorry” when we’re with someone and we cry.

Why do we feel the need to apologise for showing our pain? Our sadness? Our grief?

I’m of the mind that apologies should be given when we’re in the wrong and want to make amends.

But crying isn’t wrong. It’s a healthy release of so much emotion that it wells up in our eyes, brims over and spills down our cheeks.

So I’m going to try not to apologise next time I cry. If there’s a void of silence where the expectation is an apology…I’m going to sit with the discomfort of crying and not apologising for it.

If you manage to do this, please write and tell me if you experience anything different.

Don’t say sorry for crying. You’re allowed to feel sad. You’re allowed to cry.

7 responses to “Why do we apologise when we cry?”

  1. I am embarrassed to be vulnerable. I am always the strong one.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That breaks my heart ❤️ it must be a lot of pressure to always be the strong one 💔 xx

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Absolutely. I don’t apologise especially with people who understand but I have apologised in the past. Won’t any more for sure.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. So proud of you, Shanti. I think it’s such a difficult thing to not do when society is geared towards it…it almost feels like a rule? Hopefully we can both embrace our feelings in the future and not apologise for crying xx

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I know right? I was at my boyfriend’s mother’s birthday party and they say a song that reminded me of my late mom and I was ugly crying and only my boyfriend understood, I was apologising to everyone who asked if I was okay… His one cousin pulled me away and hugged me tight and I apologised again. She said i must stop apologizing because there was no need, she said it was my truth and I shouldn’t feel sorry. I said: right?? Wiped the tears and thanked her. No more apologetic tears.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh my heart. That must have been so hard for you. Things that remind us of lost parents are so painful. I’m so glad your boyfriend was there and that his cousin was so nice to you. It’s a hard habit to break, apologising when we cry. It’s so EXPECTED that we seem to automatically say “sorry” when we cry. No more apologies for crying xxxx

      Liked by 1 person

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