I’m back in the Psych Ward

Instead of overdosing and ending my life, I called out for help and have been re-admitted to Hollywood Clinic.

I’m trying, guys. I’m trying everything I can to stay alive when I really just want the pain to end. For my life to end.

This is so hard.

Within 24 hours of being admitted, I got the flu 🤧 so…I feel absolutely miserable because all I can do is lay still. I can’t watch films or colour or paint…and because I’m “symptomatic”, I’m not allowed to leave my room.

So on top of feeling suicidal, I’m ill with flu, homesick and lonely.

Do you ever feel like you’re never going to win? Because that’s how I feel right now.

11 responses to “I’m back in the Psych Ward”

  1. I’m so glad you’re getting help, but I’m so sorry you’re confined right now. Hope things get better soon. 💕

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It turns out what I thought was the flu WAS COVID so I was sent home immediately and am in bed now feeling sooo unwell. Here in Australia if we are sick, we say “feeling crook”. I’m definitely crook, Shanti 😭

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hope you recover super fast Janet. So sorry you’re going through this.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I am proud of you for reaching out! Maybe your body is telling you that you just need to relax and let go for a bit. A hard thing to do I know but this might be the only way. I know I will push myself unmercifully. Only sickness will slow me down. And I know I need to slow down sometimes.
    It doesn’t seem like it but things will get better. You got this! Hunker in and reread a favorite book to get your mind off things or listen to music (I seem to drift toward jazz or classical o relax). Big hugs!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I think with people like us who push ourselves to the limit, illness is the only way to get our bodies to get some rest. I love your sentence “drift towards jazz” that sounded so cool. I love r&b and loads of uplifting Church songs 🎵

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Listen to what you need to help heal❤️‍🩹

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Please blog more too if you can. You have a gift and I enjoy reading your posts. Sure I’m not the only one.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh Shanti 😭 I love that you read my blogs, it means so much to me. You have such a special gift of encouragement and say the things my heart needs 💓 so thankful for you xoxo

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I just want you to know that you are being prayed for. Please know that you aren’t alone! ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Oh Kristen, thank you so much! May God hear all our prayers xx


  6. I am so sorry for what you are going through, but please know you are not alone – never that. It just seems that way. The flu knocked on your immune system door and was let inside because you need to just focus on calming it all down a bit. You’re in that place where everything makes you feel like it has turned against you – in a few days, you will understand that it’s not that – it’s merely your body saying “I’m tired. Stress less, rest more.”

    Liked by 1 person

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