Just…do what you can.

Depression is an insidious bastard.

I’m caught up in it’s awful, sticky grip right now and it makes very simple things suddenly very difficult.

Like showering.

Showering means I have to take off my clothes. All of them. Already I am overwhelmed at the thought of undressing. It already feels like too much to have to do.

Then. Oh then I still have to get into the shower and adjust the water. So much work.

I have to clean my body and wash my hair. Wash my face. UGHHHHH. It’s too much. TOO MUCH!!!

Then turn the tap off, squeeze excess water from my hair (OMG this is too much), get out and dry myself. Just the thought of having to do this is wearing me out.

Then put my dirty clothes in the laundry basket. This is all too hard!

Then put new clothes on.

I can’t. I can’t bear it.

I have the sage advice from my friend Kristy in my head today of “do what you can”. I think she advised a long time ago that if I couldn’t bear to wash myself, then try to at least wipe over my skin with cleansing wipes…so I did that.

I put new pjs on and put the used ones in the laundry basket.

That wore me out and I needed to sit down for hours afterwards, shaking from the effort.

It took me almost 11 hours…but I made the bed and put a load of washing on.

That is enough. It has to be.

I did my best and if today that’s all I could do…it’s better than doing nothing at all.

If you’re in a similar position – then just do your best to keep yourself clean and safe. If you can’t do the dishes, then leave them. If you can, try to clean ONE dish. Call that a win. If you can’t make the bed, then maybe just straighten the blanket on the top and call it a day? If you can’t tidy a room, then maybe try to put ONE thing away and leave it at that.

Do what you can when you can and if all you can do is stay in bed and sleep so that you don’t have to face the noisy world…then do that.

11 responses to “Just…do what you can.”

  1. I now understand why I slept so much after I lost my dad & was bullied at work. I just didn’t want to wake up and often my dreams were a more pleasant place to be as my dad was still alive in them & I was away from the hell of the workplace that left me so in distress. I’m in a much better place now.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so sorry you had to go through that, Shanti. Breaks my heart as you are such a gentle, caring person. I’m sooo angry at those bullies and so thankful you are in a better place now. Hoping you have a day filled with happiness today. Sending you big hugs 🫂 xoxo

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you so much Janet. Your blog is truly a comforting space for a recluse like myself. I truly hope a kind person like you gets all the joy in the world. Wishing the best for you always.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I pray success, happiness and blessing for you in every area of your life, Shanti. You are such a blessing in my life 💛

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I swear this is such a sore spot for us. I am just really glad I am not alone. But I have to when I smell myself and it makes me mad. Then I have to put lotion on. Like who wants to do that? I get it. I work on autopilot. Everything I do is autopilot. It stinks but it’s my life.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You have it 1000 times harder than I do with a daughter, too. AND she has special needs so that must be incredibly demanding on your time and resources when you feel you have so little to work with. I’m sooo super proud of you and how determined you are to keep moving forward. You are an inspiration ✨️

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you so much for that!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Depression is debilitating. These all sound like good suggestions. As a friend of one with depression, I once went over, when I couldn’t get her to respond to my calls, opened all the drapes, and asked her to allow me to take her to a trusted psychiatrist. She did. I think it’s important to have someone that will check in with you everyday.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is so beautiful that you went to meet your friend where SHE was at. So often people who don’t suffer depression demand we meet them where THEY are (happy, whole, well, able…) and we literally can’t. I love that you let sunshine into your friend’s home and encouraged her to get help. The world 🌎 needs more people like you, Michelle. So beautiful and thoughtful 💕

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Selfless people are hard to come by. My grandmother suffered from depression her entire life. Her neighbor, an exotic dancer, checked on her every day. She was a blessing to my grandmother.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I’m so thankful your grandmother had a good friend and it touches my heart that you are a caring friend to others ❤️

        Liked by 1 person

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