I’m not that girl

I’m 45, seriously overweight and fed up with life. I’m ugly, guys. I’m not the head turner I used to be.

Even so, I want to keep my true ugly form as hidden as possible; so my Instagram and Facebook only show photos from years ago when I was slim and sexy…or are heavily filtered photos of mostly my face.

So…cheeky punters are regularly sliding into my DM’s. Or shuffling. They’re mostly old men. *eye roll*

First of all, I am happily Married and low key obsessed with my husband Alun. I TELL GUYS WHO MESSAGE ME THAT RIGHT AWAY. 90% of the time that is enough and the guy goes away.


At the moment, I have 2 guys continually hitting on me despite my repeated reminders that I’m in love with my husband πŸ’•


I found it strange that yesterday they both said similar things to me – along the lines of “I’d love to wake up with you”

So I thought I’d address that in a blog – for myself and hopefully it will help any single guy reading this.

“The morning after” isn’t glamorous, guys.

The night before, that’s where it’s at…because we girls have our makeup done, our push-up bras on, lacey underwear, our best dress or tight jeans. That’s when we look like the daydream you’re after. Then.

To wake up with someone the next morning is where it starts to get real.

Because there’s no makeup. Often, teeth haven’t been brushed…so…welcome to morning breath, guys. It’s not great.

The next morning there’s no fancy underwear because the night before has likely removed them πŸ™‚ so you’re left with a naked body in all it’s honesty. Lumps. Bumps. Scars. Rolls. Stretchmarks. It’s all there in the morning.

Hair hasn’t been carefully styled the next morning. Lips haven’t been given that “bee-stung” plump, inviting look. They are naturally there. In their usual state. It’s not pretty or amazing…it just is.

The love of my life wakes up with me every morning. This is the part “Clive” and “Mark” both wrote me about. This is where I need you to hear me, guys – I drool in my sleep. I snore.

When Alun wakes up with me, it isn’t awesome. It’s real life. My hair is a mess. My breath smells. I have dried drool on my cheek. My hair is sticking up at odd angles. I probably have cotton pyjama bottoms on and an oversized jumper. It’s not sexy, I promise you.

There aren’t soft rays of morning sunlight on silk sheets. There’s often panic and confusion “What time is it?” and a scramble for our phones, our clothes. We go our separate ways to pee or brush teeth.

It’s just…life. It’s marriage and after 10 years together, it’s not glamorous. It’s real.

So no, boys…you don’t want to “wake up with me beside you”. You’d be horrified.

I’m content in my marriage and I love “doing life” alongside my Alun.

My hope is that you find the right girl for you and you embrace loving her in the morning after. In her pjs, not her sexy lingerie.

Single guys:

Stop hitting on girls from the get-go, get to know them first. Ask them what makes them happy, what music they like, what hobbies they enjoy.

Spend time telling the girl you fancy true and raw things about you, too. Open up. Tell her your fears, your hopes, your goals, your plans for the future. Tell her what you care deeply about. We don’t care about dick pics…we would rather know how a song made you feel or what you saw in the day that made you laugh.

Sex is absolutely essential and yes, it’s fun. Dating is fun. Looking good is the ultimate fun and undressing someone in the heat of passion as your breath mingles with theirs and you carefully (or passionately and in a mad hurry) “unwrap” them like the sexy little gift they are is fun. Definitely.

But life is not just about having fun.

It’s about brushing teeth together, munching on toast together. Paying bills, saving up to fix the bathroom sink. It’s a gentle non passionate kiss goodbye as you leave for work and a comforting, warm hug when you return home.

It’s socks on the floor, dirty dishes, long hours, times of frustration and it’s a lot of work. So prepare yourself for that, guys.

Prepare yourself for waking up with that girl because it will test whether you guys go the distance or not.

Does this make any sense???

The night before (5 years ago but ok)
The morning after. Not glamorous at all…but with the right person? It’s everything πŸ™Œ

2 responses to “I’m not that girl”

  1. Love it!

    Well, if there are guys still sliding in your DMs, consider it a sure sign that you still got it, girl! Hehehe.

    But, yeah, marriage isn’t glamorous at all. But it’s the real deal. When it’s with the right person, it’s the best thing in the world. But having said that, sometimes I totally understand why black widow spiders eat their mates: they do it for their own mental health. Lol

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hahaha omg 🀣 that’s hilarious about the spider! You’re right, when you’re married to the right person, it’s the best adventure ever xx

      Liked by 2 people

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