"I get knocked down, but I get up again"

What happens when you provoke and attack someone who’s Dad died less than a year ago is that you tear shreds off them.

You hurt them incredibly deeply.

You make it almost impossible to move on.

Almost.

I’ve suffered so badly these last few days. I’ve felt like I couldn’t go on.

I feel as if I was locked away in Prison for 13 years for a crime I didn’t commit and when they opened the gates and let me out, I lifted my face to the sun. Ah. Freedom. At last. At long last.

THWACK!

I look down and an egg has burst on my shoulder. Horrified, I see the yolk running down my arm. I love this shirt.

I look up and there you are, Ethel – glaring at me, with a huge sign that you’re holding saying “YOU ARE NOT WORTH ANYTHING. EVERYONE HATES YOU. YOU ARE ALONE AND I HOPE YOU DIE”

And in that moment, Ethel – you’ve ruined my moment.

You’ve thrown an angry egg at an innocent person who suffered for so very, very long.

You broke my heart. You took my happy moment and you egged it. You shamed me with your awful sign. Wow. you used permanent marker too. Classic Ethel.

You sent out that message to EVERYONE I CARE ABOUT to tell them to hate me.

That hurt more than I have words to say.

I’m thankful you know, for everyone who messaged their love and support when that message burst out across the UK. Your message didn’t work on everyone, Ethel. The people in my life who love me? – they STILL love me. Even so.

So you didn’t win, honey. Not this time.

If anything, you made a fool of yourself.

I was afraid of it, but now that I’ve had time to reflect on it – I hope you DID send that message to the entire Church. I hope someone pulls you up on it. I hope someone with actual Godliness (you are lacking in so much of it, it’s shocking they let you LEAD others) talks to you about how WRONG it was to do what you did. I know my friends have lovingly talked to me about what I’ve done wrong in this situation and I gladly accept it and will try to change for the better.

Friends I was scared to lose have come even closer to me from this. I love you with all my heart Becci, Sammy, Laura, Joey, Katie, Phil, Vanessa, Laura, Kristy, Rebecca, Penny, Cynthia…so many of you. Too many to name and that makes my heart glad.

You hurt me deeply, Ethel. You got me good. I’m a girl but I have a feeling now that I know what it’s like to be kicked full force in the balls…you hurt me THAT much.

But.

I’m still standing and I won’t let you bully me any more.