"I get knocked down, but I get up again"

#scammed #identitytheft #betrayed #used #conned #prettypinkimposter #howcouldyou #shameonyou #why

It’s 12:20am and Alun (praise God) is fast asleep, resting tonight (this morning?) before he starts his 12 hour shift tomorrow from 11am – 11pm. He’s hurting a lot and is very unhappy – he’s going through a lot of really hard things so I’m glad he’s resting. I go in and check on him every few hours – just watching him sleep brings me so much peace, you know?

Anyway.

I thought I’d blog about my recent experience with betrayal because my Lawyer rang yesterday and said I don’t have a case against “Natalie”. I tried to get a restraining order on her, but unfortunately as she committed identity fraud and didn’t actually harm or hurt me (not physically anyway), my Lawyer highly doubts a Magistrate would grant the order and believes I will not only LOSE but that Natalie’s Lawyers will sue ME for damages.

So, in typical “Janet fashion”, I’ll blog about my broken heart instead and hope that someone out there will benefit from it somehow. Or even just send me a hug. I love hugs and could definitely do with one now.

So…let’s go back 12 months because that’s when everything began.

Get comfy, this is going to be a longggg blog.

Last February, I accepted a temporary contract from HAYS to go into the Facilities branch at a hospital and assist with Admin. All good.

I turned up for interview and was an hour early. They didn’t have a waiting room, I literally sat in the office between the desks of two girls – the one I was replacing (she was going off to Uni) and the girl I would be closely working with as she was the Director’s personal assistant.

That’s when I met “Kate” and “Sally” (names changed so they don’t sue my ass).

“Kate” was the PA. She was very tall, very curvy – not fat, but you could tell she liked a pizza now and then – and she was very attractive. Tall with blonde hair, blue eyes and a great sense of style. “Sally” was the girl going back to Uni who I was going to replace. Sally was overweight (like me), had a friendly, open face and a gentleness about her. The two girls were like opposites. They seemed to have a happy relationship and I chatted with them both in the hour I waited to be interviewed. By the time the Director “Paul” came to get me for interview, the 3 of us had become friends and were giggling away as if we’d known each other for years.

I got given the job (woohoo) and started the next Monday.

Kate was in charge of training me for my job. I found her to be mesmerising. There was something very attractive about her. Something magnetic. I liked her. Big mistake. Anyway…at the time, I thought Kate was really cool. Kate seemed to be everything I wasn’t – confident, sexual, funny, smart and really cool. I looked at her in awe. I’m a very open person, bless my stupid gullible heart – so Kate knew I thought highly of her and seemed to really enjoy that and want to cultivate it. She ‘friended’ me HARD. Kate wanted to be with me all the the time. Kate asked to have lunch with me every day. She offered me lifts home every day. When I got home, Kate would CALL ME about an hour later and we’d talk for a further hour. Kate would then offer to pick me up in the mornings and take me to work. I think in the 7.5 hours of work we did together each day, we talked for about 6.5 of those hours – silly stories, talking about our families, our lives, our hopes, our dreams…I thought I was so blessed because not only did I have a new job I really liked doing – it seemed I had a built in bestie, too. Kate seemed obsessed with me. I didn’t mind it (it’s nice to be wanted, right?) and was hoping maybe some of her confidence, sexiness and style would rub off on me.

On my first full day of working at the new job, I was introduced to “Natalie” – who was to become the bain of my entire existance. Natalie came downstairs from the floor above us to ‘hang out’ with Kate. Natalie and Kate called each other “sisters from other misters” and seemed very close. When I met Natalie, I felt immediately uneasy. I couldn’t explain why. I wish to God I had leaned into those feelings now.

I remember meeting Natalie as if it happened yesterday because my internal alarms were so strong to ‘run‘ that it caught me off guard. I will never forget how she made me feel.

Natalie stood by Kate’s desk and Kate did all the talking. Natalie’s big eyes drifted around the room, bouncing off items and back again as if she wasn’t really “there” – you know when someone has stuff going on in their head so they’re “away with the fairies”? Natalie had that going on. Her eyes darted around the room like a frightened animal. There was an undercurrent of danger about her. I remember finding that unusual. It made me physically want to take a step away from her. I remember actually walking away as Natalie and Kate (Kate talked non-stop, Natalie “listened” but as I say, I doubt she actually heard anything Kate said) chatted. I remember being relieved somehow to have my desk between myself and the girls.

When Natalie left that morning, Kate rolled her eyes “She’s always hanging around wanting to talk to Bas – but he’s had enough of her and doesn’t want to see her anymore”

“see” her?

“I’ll message you” Kate winked and started typing rapidly away on our TEAMS instant chat.

Kate told me through TEAMS that apparently “Basil” (aka Bas – a manager in our office) and Natalie had “had a fling” (extra marital – that was really bad) and “used to go out for coffee (not sure if that was code for sex or if they literally had hot drinks) every morning”. Kate told me Natalie was BEYOND SMITTEN with Bas and that she started to get especially clingy/possessive with him. I don’t know if this is true or not, but Kate told me that when Bas tried to get space away from Natalie, she ‘reacted like a complete psycho’ (Kate’s words) and broke into his house! Can you imagine?

So weird.

We moved on, I forgot about it for a while and Kate and I resumed talking and laughing. Natalie came back to ‘visit’ probably 2 more times and had the same unusual behaviour – eyes darting about the room – as if she was desperately wanting to find something specific but offering an “mmm” and “ah ok” every now and then to Kate’s non stop chatter to make it appear as if she was casually visiting a friend rather than hungrily hoping for “Basil” to come out of his office.

I’ll have to blog about it seperately (God help me) but Kate ended up MOVING IN WITH ALUN AND I in the first week of meeting each other – and becoming extremely possessive over me. To a scary degree. When I stood up for myself and wanted to put a stop to the possessiveness (also asking Kate to move out), Kate did a 180 degree turn and began to HATE ME with an intense passion.

Before Kate hated me, she, Natalie and I became an odd sort of ‘threesome’ in the office. Kate and I worked closely together and actually made a pretty good team. We both have a good work ethic and although we both talked A LOT, we both got a lot of work done and to a high standard. Natalie would ‘visit’ 2-3 times a day and would message us both on the TEAMS app througout the day. 90% of her messages would be about Basil.

“has Bas come in yet?”

“Have you seen Bas today? What’s he wearing?”

“Bas usually orders Uber eats for lunch – do you know if he’s put an order in yet?”

“Can you check in the fridge and see what Bas brought in for his lunch?”

“Is Bas in his office?”

As weird as I found Natalie’s messages – (she even sent us a picture of Bas’s WIFE she found on the internet and asked Kate and I to rate her out of 10 in hotness – that’s how bloody BIZARRE this woman was) – I remembered back to when I was obsessed with Matt and I could relate. It’s an awful position to be in, when you just want that certain guy back – but in Natalie’s case, it was never going to happen.

Within the next few weeks, Kate and Natalie had a huge fight (Natalie tried to take over Kate’s birthday and make it about herself and Bas going for ‘drinks’ instead of celebrating Kate) and they stopped talking to each other.

That left just me for Natalie to visit.

Great.

Natalie visited me just the once and that was enough. It was the most uncomfortable visit I’ve ever experienced. Mostly because Natalie didn’t talk. Natalie wasn’t friendly or communicative. She didn’t answer any of my friendly ‘ice breaker’ questions. It was like trying to talk to a wall. I hated it. I tried unsuccessfully for about 15-20 minutes to get any response from Natalie and then just wanted to jump out of the window, to be honest. Kate was over at her desk trying to ignore Natalie and she got fed up and left the office “I’m going on a walk!” she huffed and rolled her eyes at me, gesturing towards Natalie as she headed for the door.

Take me with you!!!

Lol.

Anyway, I awkwardly tried to get Natalie to leave by pointing in overly huge actions at my computer monitors and shouting (I don’t know why I was shouting, Natalie’s not deaf…but I was feeling uncomfortable so I didn’t want anything to be misheard) “I’D BETTER GET BACK ON WITH MY WORK, EH?”

This was ignored by Natalie.

I’d not spent time one-on-one with her before and was getting increasingly anxious. Natalie gave out a vibe of great discomfort. Of evil, somehow…of HIDING SOMETHING dark. Something not right. I got a really strong sense that this girl was FILLED WITH SECRETS AND LIES AND WAS NOT TO BE TRUSTED.

My compassion for her big, lost, frightened eyes overtook my common sense and I tried again – as gently as I could – to hint about ‘needing to get on with my work’ rather than asking Natalie straight out to PLEASE GO AWAY for the love of God.

Natalie again, didn’t take the hint. It was almost as if she deliberately ignored it.

Bas came into the front office from down the hall. He stopped in his tracks and looked as if he’d seen a ghost when he spotted Natalie. He did not look happy to see her. More…afraid.

I looked closely at Natalie to see her reaction and her whole demeanour changed. Her face lit up. There was a softness and a friendliness there now that I had not seen before. Although it was a facade, it was a convincing one of friendliness and lightness. Natalie’s physical demeanour changed, too. She went from sitting distractedly in her seat, slumped over – to sitting upright and leaning a friendly elbow on my desk.

Natalie laughed gaily as if I’d said something hilarious. I hadn’t said anything. Natalie had become this fake-friendly version of herself. I continued to watch between Bas and Natalie in fascination.

Bas cleared his throat and was obviously uncomfortable to have been ‘caught’ by Natalie.

“Hey hey Janet – HOW’S YOUR DAY GOING?” he boomed at me.

Maybe I’m not the only one who yells when I’m nervous?

“Yeah, you know” I shrugged and gave a smile “A lot to do” and I gestured helplessly (again) at my computer.

I was hoping NATALIE would also take that hint.

“Yeah, same here” Bas smiled and made a hasty exit.

I looked again at Natalie and again, her entire demeanour changed. She now looked like a popped balloon. Flat. Unhappy. Empty.

Just a void where a woman had once been.

It made me feel…awful…just looking at her. Uncomfortable.

All the alarms in my body were going off but my heart…my poor, stupid heart – felt sorry for her.

I know what it’s like to have the one you love just ignore you. It is the pits.

In an effort to cheer Natalie up, I told her something about Bas. I know she loved information on him. “He had a bacon and egg wrap for breakfast and asked if anyone wanted anything before he went to the cafe, bless him”. At that, Natalie beamed. “He did?” “Yes” I smiled, hoping to make her feel better by providing this weird information “Basil seems like a nice guy” “Oh he’s…amazing” Natalie breathed out…you could tell she was obsessed with this guy.

Natalie opened her mouth to say something else. She looked so excited. That’s when Kate came back to the office.

“Why are you still here?” Kate frowned at Natalie.

Natalie didn’t answer but looked away guiltily.

“Nope. Enough” Kate stood at the door of our office and held the door open.

“Get out!” she yelled.

Part of me cringed and part of me wanted to loudly applaud. It was SO HARD to be around Natalie. It was like pushing an elephant up a hill.

“Excuse me?” Natalie looked up at Kate with horror.

“You heard me, Natalie” Kate said assertively and held the door open even wider “I said GET THE FUCK OUT. Janet and I have work to do and this isn’t your office. SEE YOU”

And Natalie got up and walked out.

I felt like Kate had been incredbily harsh, but I was also really grateful because when Natalie left, so did the cold, hard atmosphere she brought with her. I think even the sun shone brighter without Natalie in the room; she had such a darkness about her. Something about Natalie sucked all the oxygen from a room. All the light. All the warmth.

So Kate and Natalie were no longer friends. Natalie messaged me on Facebook about Kate the next morning, and I found it weird because instead of being PISSED about what had happened (I know I would have been), Natalie was careful. Cautious. She asked if Kate was okay and if she could do anything to be her friend again. I didn’t have any ideas and gently suggested “just give her time, she’ll calm down”, feeling that this was a very strange conversation indeed. What a strange reaction to being kicked out of an office in a really rude manner.

2 weeks later, I was in a new job (praise God!) and Natalie messaged me on Facebook that Kate had been fired.

What???

“Yeah, she was sending inappropriate messages to managers at work. She says her phone and computer were hacked but no one believes that! Hahahaha” Natalie explained in her message.

As I had just recently been the brunt of Kate’s angry rampage – she hated me now – I found it somehow comforting. Kate was horrible to me and now she was getting a taste of her own medicine. I’m not proud of it, but I liked that she’d been caught out and fired. I think I messaged back something like “Haha she got what she deserved” or something like that along with “Good riddance. LOL” which I know…wasn’t nice of me. I regretted it the moment I sent it. That’s not who I am.

I went on with my life – from job to job to job to job. Such is life. Natalie would message me every now and then on Facebook chat. I didn’t think much of it. I didn’t consider her a friend. If anything, I messaged back to be polite. We didn’t meet up or do anything outside of work. I had no intention of hanging out with Natalie; she was a strange girl and I was doing my best to extend her kindness, but keep a safe distance.

Fast forward to September last year.

Bas messages me on LinkedIn about a possible job opening. I leap at the opportunity to come back to the office as I LOVED my previous job. Now that Kate wouldn’t be around, I would be able to exhale and just get on with whatever new work the managers (including Bas) had for me. He told me about the high pay rate (OMG) for doing very simple data entry (WINNING) and I was SOLD. I was so excited to have that dream job. I was already counting the money I hadn’t earned and imagining boarding a plane with Alun to a lovely beachy destination. AHhhhhh so good. Look at me go!

Knowing Natalie loved hearing about Bas, I messaged her on Facebook about his message, his offer of work and how excited I was to go back to work. Natalie asked a lot of questions. At the time, I thought she was just excited for me. I’m SO STUPID. Natalie was actually collecting information about the job, the interview and of course, on Bas – and like an idiot, I was handing it to her on a silver platter.

The next day, I interviewed with Bas and “Jaxon” for the job. I got given the job. We all shook hands and were all really pleased about working together again.

So. Much. Winning.

That was on a Friday morning.

On the following Monday, I checked my emails. I hadn’t had a confirmation of a start time, so I rang HAYS to find out if Bas/Jaxon had given them a time for me to come in. That’s when I found out my contract had actually been terminated.

WAIT.

WHAT?!?

It turns out – what had previously happened to Kate all those months ago was now happening to me. Apparently “I” had texted some inappropriate messages to Bas and he didn’t want me working there anymore.

After a lot of tears and a lot of phone calls…and a week of anxiously waiting – Bas sent me a copy of the texts he’d received.

They were ALL about NATALIE. How wonderful Natalie was. How much she missed Bas. How Bas should contact her and reunite with her.

1. Of Couse those texts were from Natalie!!! I mean, come on now! They were all about her, complimentary of her and about her and Bas.
2. WHY WOULD I HAVE EVER MESSAGED SUCH THINGS?
3. Natalie’s spelling and grammar is atrocious whereas mine is pretty damn fine, just saying. Her style of texting is also vastly different from mine.

So I went to the Police with Alun, wanting to clear my name, get my job back and get a restraining order on Natalie.

The Police said they couldn’t help as Natalie hadn’t been a threat to my life and I also had no proof the number texting Bas belonged to Natalie – so I couldn’t prove identity fraud either. Great. The kind Constable we saw did however recommend a restraining order.

So, I was in court the next day – on my own – shaking like a leaf and I convinced a kind Magistrate – by comparing Natalie’s messages to me on Facebook with the texts sent to Bas – that she had indeed stolen my Identity and that a restraining order was needed.

I went home that day and slept for the first time in weeks. Finally, everything was going to be okay.

But it wasn’t.

Natalie “rejected” the Restraining order.

I put together all the proof I had – the texts, Natalie’s matching messages (matching words, phrases, spelling, tone etc), the employment contract I was originally given and the termination notice…and off we went to Court.

…where Natalie produced a mysterious email from Kate of all people – saying SHE was responsible for texting Bas. Kate apparently had a vendetta out against both Natalie and I and that Natalie was completely innocent.

FFS.

We weren’t expecting THAT so all parties agreed we’d go away, read through each others’ documents/evidence and meet again in a few month’s time.

We went back to Court a 2nd time. Court was put off as Natalie’s laywers were unprepared.

ARGHHHHHHH!!!

Instead of going back a 3rd time in 3 weeks as planned, my Lawyer has given up. “Zena” (my Lawyer) has said I won’t win. She said I’d pay a fortune to be represented by her in a full-day’s trial and that the Magistrate would be confused by all the “she did it” – “no, SHE did it” and finger pointing, a mobile number that hadn’t been traced and “could have belonged to anyone” and to Kate’s mysterious email taking all the blame – it causes enough “reasonable doubt” that a Judge would not grant a restraining order, they would find the entire thing too confusing.

So there you have it.

That’s why I’m still fucking awake.

I’m so tired, you guys. SO TIRED. My very bones ache.

I don’t think I’ll ever take a full breath ever again. This identity theft and mess with bloody Natalie and possibly even Kate (?) has caused me so much hurt, angst, anxiety, depression, confusion…and so much ANGER at the INJUSTICE of it all.

Father God…what do I do about this?

WHAT CAN YOU DO ABOUT THIS???

Please God, you know the truth here. Please intervene for me. Please speak up for me becasue I feel voiceless. I feel powerless. I feel betrayed and FUCKING JIPPED, Lord.

All because I wanted to be kind to a strange girl.

This can’t be right, can it Lord?