It’s almost 1am and I’m hurting. I’m in so much pain I don’t know how to go on.
These past 24 months have absolutely torn me to shreds. I’ve lost who I am and I’ve lost my Dad. I even got my identity stolen from me, can you believe that?
I feel like the whole world is sleeping and that if I was to quietly slip away from this life…no one would notice.
Alun is asleep on the sofa next to me and I want to shake him awake and ask him to please help me because the temptation to kill myself is so strong and I don’t know how to fight this on my own.
I don’t think I’m worth saving, though.
That’s my biggest struggle.
I don’t think I’m worth anything at all.
Do you know what that’s like, God?
To feel worthless?
Because it’s awful. It’s soul destroying.