Why is it so hard?

I love writing cards and letters, you know. LOVE ITTTT.

But whenever I’ve gone through a really hard time, I can’t get my hand to hold a pen without shaking. I used to have really beautiful hand writing – cursive and very pretty and now it’s a shaky, messy scrawl and I somehow can’t seem to spell as well as I used to? Maybe it’s because I rely on technology to spell for me? When I use pen and paper, the spelling’s on me and I’m failing.

I don’t understand why things I used to enjoy – things I used to be good at – are now so bloody hard. Why can’t I write any more?

I feel jipped, angry, frustrated…and a bit scared, to be honest. I need to be able to do things I find enjoyment in but everything stresses me out. Even the tiniest things.

This sucks ass.

2 responses to “Why is it so hard?”

  1. Why do you really love writing cards? Is it literally the writing itself or is it more? I’ve found that, even if my handwriting or spelling is flawed, I still love that writing by hand and sending something that feels more personal (compared to online messages) can be so much better. It feels more human somehow, more authentic; there’s no card that’s exactly the same as the one you wrote and that’s wonderful đŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello darling, I love writing cards and letters because of the sweetness of something personal from one person to another. In this day and age of so much electronic technology, the pleasure of getting something handwritten in the post is getting lost so I’m doing my best to preserve it. I love that you understand this and that you will still write by hand even if your handwriting or spelling is flawed. At a guess, I think you’d probably have lovely handwriting. Thank you so much for commenting xxxx

      Liked by 1 person

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