The Beach

Me all day: OMG the beach is calling to me. Pure Moana viiiiibes. Yass!!!

I pack my beach bag. Towel, water, sunscreen, book I’ve been wanting to read for ages, thongs, bathers on with shorts and a cute summer top.

Yass!!!

Just as I reach for my bag to leave…it lands.

Thump.

A heavy weight on my chest that grows tentacles that wrap around my legs, my arms, my chest, my throat.

Oh hi depression. I’m just off to the beach.

Depression: Yeah, that’s not happening today.
Anxiety: Yo! I’m late but I’m here! Let’s go over all the most horrible situations that could happen at the beach. Maybe drowning?
Depression: Defo. Or everyone laughing and pointing at your fat body in that swimsuit
Anxiety: Oh that is GOLD.

Not today.

heart racing, palms sweating and I’m struggling to breathe

Me: But…the beach…

Depression and anxiety: Yeah nah. Not anymore.

So I’m at home staring at my beach bag with tears in my eyes.

This is so hard.

Published by janetdthomas77

I'm the person who will go into a burning building to save everyone. I'm also the person likely to have started the fire by leaving a stupid scented candle unattended or something, so...you know.

2 thoughts on “The Beach

  1. So sorry to hear that depression and anxiety continue to be the villains of your story. I’ve read briefly what you’ve gone through the past few weeks, but it’s good to know that you at least have energy and motivation to want to do something fun for yourself! Hope these negative thoughts will fade away soon so you can actually enjoy life again 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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