"I get knocked down, but I get up again"

I can’t think of Patrick without smiling, you know that?

For a friend with benefits, he’s actually one of my favourite memories.

Our first ‘date’ was at my Mom’s apartment. I was divorced, broke and had moved in with Mom to save money. She was away that night – going to a concert with her friend and sleeping over at her friend’s home and the coast was clear, so I invited Patrick to come on over.

We’d met online on the “Oasis” dating site (it was such a great experience. I can’t believe how much online dating has changed over the last 10 years). We’d talked for months and when we progressed from messages to talking on the phone, I loved the sound of Patrick’s warm voice. He was always funny, really sweet and a lot of fun.

Perfect 🙂

So, I invited him to my Mom’s so we could ‘hook up’. I honestly was after a quickie and was looking forward to having sex, then watching dvds on my own and going to bed.

Patrick texted me and asked for my favourite drink choice so he could pick me up something nice on his way over. That’s really sweet. I don’t drink but I didn’t want to respond (truthfully) with “uh…lemonade, please?” so I thought of the drinks my friends liked and responded with “Madoori” (not sure how to spell it – a bright green drink I could sort of tolerate when I had a sip from my friend’s cocktail glass a few nights earlier). “No worries, consider it done xx” Patrick’s text pinged back. His thoughtfulness made me smile.

I’d not met him in person, so I was nervous what he would think of me. I’d put on a few kilos so I wasn’t rocking my super thin body any more, but I was still very slim – just with curves now. I didn’t mind that and hoped Patrick wouldn’t either. I dressed in my favourite (then – and still to this day) little black dress which is short, fitted well and had sexy spaghetti straps.

JD. You are a fox!

I stood out on the street corner (sooo dodgy now I look back on it) waiting for Patrick’s car as it was too hard to give directions to the complicated parking by Mom’s apartment block. He trundled up in his cute work van and beamed a friendly smile at me. I noticed his teeth were white, even and nice. He had blue/green eyes that twinkled and no hair. Absolutely bald. I didn’t think I’d like that but it suited him. Patrick was very handsome. More handsome in real life than in his few pictures online.

Yass! Winning!

I tried to lean into the passenger window and explain where/how to park (no idea what I thought I was doing) and Patrick interrupted impatiently and said “Just get in, Janet!”

Oh yeah. Right. It’s easier if I get in. Haha.

I awkwardly got into the high front seat and directed Patrick where to park. We got into Mom’s apartment and my skin was so warm. I was turned on and ready for sex.

Patrick was too polite (bless him) and wanted to talk and have drinks first.

I just wanted to be kissed. I wanted to know what his lips felt like on mine. Forget the drinks, Patrick – lay one one me! I want to know what your kisses are like. Kiss me and make me forget all about Matt.

Instead, I nodded to Patrick’s questions about drinks and he found glasses in the kitchen and poured one for each of us. We sat together on the sofa and the excitement for what was to come buzzed through me and felt amazing. I didn’t hear a word of what Patrick was saying, I was watching his lips, biting my own and picturing him with his top off.

“…one of my favourite movies ever” he finished.

Huh?

“They have a whole bunch of these” Patrick waved a DVD at me. It had a bunch of black/gangster-type guys on it and the word “FRIDAY” on it – maybe it was called “This Friday” or “Next Friday” or something. I don’t know. I wasn’t paying attention.

“It’s sooo funny, Janet – I’m looking forward to watching it with you” Patrick beamed a big grin.

I don’t care about your DVD just now, Patrick. I want you to grab me and carry me to bed!

I had to walk a fine line of not having to endure a DVD (how long do movies go for? An hour? longer? I just wanted sex!) and not coming off as a sexual psycho.

I think it did it well by gently putting the dvd on Mom’s coffee table, taking a sip of my drink (I wish I’d had lemonade) and planting a firm kiss on Patrick’s lips.

They were LUSH by the way. I immediately wanted more.

“Oh” Patrick exclaimed.

Oh indeed.

“Can we just have sex, please? Maybe we could watch your dvd another time” I gently guided, fluttering my eyelashes delicately.

This seemed to work a treat.

Patrick had mentioned he did yoga in past conversations and something about breathing techniques so that he could ‘last longer’ at sex. I’d only ever slept with Matt before and had hardly any experience so I had no idea why breathing or ‘lasting longer’ was important. All I wanted was to feel Patrick’s body on mine.

As quickly as possible, at that 🙂

I don’t remember much about the next part which makes me sad because it’s definitely something I want to write about and remember…but my next memory is of standing next to Mom’s bed with Patrick behind me. I was in my underwear (lacey black with gold) and I’m guessing Patrick was, too. He was gently massaging my shoulders which was very nice and taking deep breaths. Mom’s toilet was bubbling away because if you don’t bang the cistern really hard after flushing, it continues to try to fill itself.

“Janet…can you turn that off?” Patrick asked. I guess the cistern noise was bothering him, too.

“1 sec” I dashed off, hit the cistern hard a few times and the bubbling stopped.

I came back and he eyed me up and down with appreciation. I liked it, it made me feel great.

“You have a good body” I offered.

(I’m so angry that right now I can’t remember it)

“YOU do” Patrick countered…and his face looked like meant it.

That turned me on so much.

I don’t remember the next few moments either which again, makes me sad as they seem important…but then we were having sex. Slowly. Gently.

IT WAS AMAZING.

Patrick was very skilled but really gentle and would ask “is this ok?” a lot which I really liked. He taught me a few new positions which I liked. I liked him hitting it from behind as we lay on our sides. I’m not a fan of the ‘reverse cow girl’ which was difficult to pull off but Patrick loved it so I didn’t mind. It was nice making him happy.

Afterwards, I put on my pink pjs in the bathroom. When I came out, I thought Patrick would be dressed and ready to leave.

I was surprised that he was trying to get comfortable in bed. He didn’t look like he was going anywhere.

This was awkward.

“Cute” he smiled as I walked towards the bed in my plaid pjs.

I frowned as I got into bed with him.

How to ask him to leave?

But it was actually nice having his arms around me and listening to his steady breathing deepen as he fell asleep. Patrick smelled nice – that ‘freshly showered’ scent maybe with a hint of Lynx deodorant? I liked it. Manly and fresh. It didn’t take me long to fall asleep, too. The guy had worn me out.

A few hours later and Patrick was shuffling around in bed. Uncomfortable. He was getting annoyed.

“I can’t do this” Patrick sat up in bed. His tired face looked really cute, bless him.

“Huh?” I asked, half asleep.

“It’s so noisy here at night” Patrick frowned. I’d gotten used to the traffic from the main street and the constant noise of people in the other apartments coming and going. I guess it was a lot for someone not used to it.

“Would you mind heaps if I just went home? I can’t sleep” Patrick asked.

You have no idea but I won’t mind that at all.

It was so nice of him that it made me smile “Sure, see you later” and I think I just moved to the center of the bed and fell back asleep really quickly. Haha.

That was a really great 1st date and it made me smile to get a text from Patrick later that day, calling me “round and brown”.

I hope lots of people have great first dates like that. I wouldn’t have changed a thing.