"I get knocked down, but I get up again"

I have a longggg history of being hired and fired for many, MANY jobs. I have pretty much worked in every industry and field in the whole of Perth in offices in almost every suburb over the last 15 years. I can count on one hand the jobs I’ve enjoyed, they are that few and far between.

I’ve figured out in my long line of work and experiences these things:

Private companies are more likely to do you painfully and roughly in the ass. Sorry, but it’s true. They will jip you, emotionally masacre you and fire you – and make you feel as if you deserve it.

Government roles are more likely to have structure in the role (eg; when they hire a receptionist, they are more likely to want a RECEPTIONIST – not a receptionist/admin/accounts support/cleaner/Office manager – but all for the one low receptionist salary) but the bullying is more severe the higher up the person is and Government HR teams are not ones to take the side of the victim. They are – in my experience – usually good friends with the person doing the bullying so trying to complain about it and get it fixed are a lost cause. Don’t do it, just walk away.

No matter what job I’m in, it’s important to be on friendly terms with the cleaners and the IT crew. They are VITAL in any role and will help more than you can ever imagine. Especially the IT peeps.

I’m starting to learn that jobs are like buses – another one will come along, it’s the waiting that varies in between. If you’re prepared to wait a long time, then just leave the job you’re in if it’s causing your mental health to decline because you’ll feel so much better for it in the long run.

With that said, I’m supposed to be deciding on my OWN fate today. I need to let my boss know tomorrow if I’m going to stay in this job or if I’m going to “step away” from it and look for an easier job in another role.

What does my gut tell me?

I honestly don’t know.

50% of me is saying “Just let it go, JD. LET IT GO. Step away from this job and take time to properly grieve your Dad. YOU LOST YOUR DAD, JD. It’s okay to not be able to take on a full-time, highly demanding role right now. You are on good terms with a great team so if you leave NOW, it can always be a happy bridge you can cross back over at a later date. Go NOW before you f*ck it up“

50% of me is saying “Just stay and see this through, JD. You are happy in your work, you like the girls you work with and one day (God willing) you will actually wrap your head around what you do and know your job…that will be such a good day…it’s worth hanging in there and riding out the hard times for“.

ARGHHHHHHH!!!

I’ve rarely come up against something so hard to decide definitively on.

JD MAKE A DECISION.

You need one by tomorrow.

Stay

or

Go.

Stay – just push through these hard days, do your best and save money while you can.

Go – get yourself into a gym, lose weight, sleep more, rest, recover and reset – building a stronger, better version of myself in the meantime. No money though.

OMG THIS IS SO HARD.

Why is this so hard??? Why can’t I just come up with a decision?