"I get knocked down, but I get up again"

Hey,

On Monday, I had such terrible pains in my lower abdomen (I thought it was my ovaries) that I left work, called Alun and asked him to meet me at the hospital. Alun did meet me there, wheeling a green wheelchair towards me with a kind smile. Bless him. Alun looked so handsome in his Nursing scrubs and it put me at ease being in his care.

Alun took me to the Emergency Ward (that’s his section), his friend triaged me and I waited and waited…and waited in the waiting room for hours on end. I got transferred to their “quack” section (QCK) and got CT tested and a dye put through me to find out what was wrong with my insides.

The test results showed a ‘huge gall stone’ (their words, not mine), a twist of fat in my colon (eh?) and a lump of non-dangerous fat on my kidney.

Well, that explained the pain I felt. It was better than them scanning me and coming up with nothing.

I was in hospital 7 hours that day and was extremely relieved to be discharged and come home with Alun later that night. There is honestly nothing better than climbing into your own bed – especially when you feel unwell. I thanked God as I pulled our lovely heavy doona over myself and nodded off to sleep.

The next day, my new boss texted that because of strict Covid lockdown, I was to stay home for the week and would get paid for it. WAHOOOOOO!!! LOVE ITTTTTTT!!! So excited.

I’ve been pining for a week off from work and now it’s here. I am so blessed to be able to rest and so happy to be home for the week, amongst things I love and getting rest. I am also blessed to know I can grieve for Dad and think of him in my own time which has been so needed. I miss Dad every day, you know.

So this week has been a blessing. I’ve had time to rest, to sleep (I’ve slept A LOT with these sore organs inside me), I had 2 full days mucking about at home with just Alun and I had a day all to myself today. I read books, watched loads of Crime on Netflix and looked through photos of my Dad, which I really loved.

I’m still waiting to hear back from Austin MacCauley on their offer of a book deal – if they want to – and then I’ll be able to decide which Publishers I’m going with. There’s already a lot of changes I want to make to my Memoir, so to be able to get going alongside a well known Publisher would be great.

I dreamed my book design had a lot of bright blue and yellow on it – maybe that’s a premonition???

Since my Dad died, I’ve had a lot of dreams of displacement. I dream I’m travelling to strange countries on my own. I dream of being anxious on plane rides, not knowing where I’m going or why. I feel so much unrest and unease.

I dreamed last night that I saw my ex-husband Jon. He had a tattoo on his hand with my name on it. It said something like “I will keep praying for Janet until she finds her way” on his hand. I told Jon it was badass.

I dream of returning to Prescot in the UK a lot. What does it mean, I wonder?

I’m tired now and sore so I’ll go…hopefully I’ll get to fill you in on something happy or exciting soon.