Before I start complaining, I’ve had a really good few days off.
It’s been so good to wake up when I naturally am awake and not in a panic when my alarm goes off for work. It’s been nice to do a ‘full makeup’ look on my face because I can take the time to ‘fill in’ my eyebrows and do contouring and pick shades of blush that I like. I’ve found out TWO coats of mascara are life changing. SO GOOD.
But being home is the worst place to be as well as the best place…because I find myself doing the laundry. Then the dishes. “Well, while I’m here…” and I’m cleaning the bathroom or sweeping the floors. Yesterday I slid myself under the bed (I’ve never done that before, I felt like Ethan from “mission impossible” when he’s laying flat above the floor, suspended on a wire) and cleaned out the dust along the skirting board which had built up over what looked like months and was about an inch high. I’ll have to have a word to the cleaners about that – they have to do under the bed next time.
But in amongst being busy, I’ve done a few things I really liked:
I saw TWO movies. I love Will Smith so ANYTHING he’s in, I’m going to see. I don’t even need to see or hear about the trailer for the movie – Will’s in it? Then that’s all I need to know. I loved “Gemini man”. So cool. I saw “Joker” which made me incredibly uncomfortable as it was so dark, pushed A LOT of boundaries and revealed the dark side of mental illness which can lead to harming yourself – or in Albert Flack’s case – killing others – and liking it. He was the ‘baddie’ in the movie but because the audience got to see how he got there, I felt a lot of compassion for him.
I saw a quote that summed up my feelings about the movie perfectly:
“When you’re younger, you cheer for the heroes. When you’re older, you understand the villains”
I loved Superman and Spiderman when I was younger.
Now I have a special place in my heart for the Joker. I never thought I’d say that! Sheesh.
I think that’s the way of it when anyone. When you see their biography and what they’ve gone through to be the person they are now; you end up having no choice really but to have compassion on them and to see them in a much better light. Like the “Queen” movie – it made me want to be a big fan of Freddie Mercury. Watching “Rocketman” had me listening to Elton John songs all day and appreciating his talent for playing the piano. I didn’t know his best friend wrote the lyrics and he wrote the music. I’ve always assumed Elton John did both.
I hope more and more biographies come out. I hope more than that, that we take the time to get to know each other and have love, warmth and compassion for each other BEFORE we die and the ‘movie’ about us comes out.
I’ve been able to do a little bit of gardening which is always good for my soul. I love seeing things grow. I’ve met up with a few friends (Jack and Cat) and have enjoyed time in their company because they both understand I can’t stay long (I get worn out and stressed) so I can leave whenever I want. I really like that. I’ve watched almost an entire series on Netflix (“Unbelievable“) which I’ve really enjoyed AND I’ve sorted out my clothes (Marie Kondo would be so proud) and have 3 full bin bags of clothes to give to the Salvos which I will NOT even notice are gone once I give them away. My side of the cupboard is a lot more tidy and I have a lot more room in my drawers.
I’ve been able to read a lot of a really interesting books which has been great. I love reading.
But the things I like to do have been in little snatches of doing the things I think I HAVE to do. The garden is looking a lot better, the house is tidy and I guess I’m ready for going back to work on Monday because I won’t be stressing about all the things I need to do at home.
But the stress, worry, depression and anxiety haven’t stopped for a minute.
I feel like a hamster in a wheel, madly racing about and not really knowing why.
I have one day left to rest, guys. ONE. MORE. DAY.