Divorce and Remarriage


I have nothing to do at work. I’ve re-filled the printers with paper, tidied the stationery cupboard, loaded the dishwasher, tidied the kitchen and both meeting rooms are being used, or I would have tidied them, too. I’ve checked work emails and responded to everything – which left me with an hour to go and nothing to do.

I’ve asked everyone on the Admin team if they have work for me – nothing they can pass on.

So to waste time, I looked up on the Internet what Christians thought of Divorce and ReMarriage.

Can anyone say “can of worms”?


I think I looked up this topic because I wanted to know what God thinks. I love my engagement ring from Alun, it’s beautiful and sparkles and is just what I’ve always dreamed of…but sometimes I see it twinkling away on my ring finger and I wonder what God thinks of it. Does He hate it?

From what I’ve read of the Bible…I’m in sin. I’m an adulterer and my only choices are to return to Jonathan and MAKE him take me back…or live alone – in sin – forever.

When I think about God and His love, forgiveness, mercy and grace…I can’t believe these would be the only choices left. I can’t accept that God who sent His only son to die for me – who sacrificed Jesus – for me – would just turn his back on me after a Divorce, sigh sadly and say “That’s it, kiddo – you’re on your own for that sin. There’s nothing else you or I can do”

I read a really challenging Blog by someone called “Paula” who ran a ‘women of truth’ or ‘women of life’ (after reading for almost 40 minutes, I’ve completely forgotten the title, sorry) which had pretty much every varying opinion you could think of. Staunch Christians who said “get divorced and go to hell, you horrible sinner” to people in the middle ground who more kindly said “yes you’re a sinner but we all are and God loves us, forgives us and makes us new” to a few people – I could literally only count TWO people in amongst blog responses of HUNDREDS – who said “I’m remarried after divorce, I love God and I dont think He has abandoned me or looks at me with disgust. I don’t think I’m going to Hell. God’s made me a new person so I see this as a new beginning”

I read every blog response carefully. Some hurt to read. The really judgemental ones backed up by so many scriptures were painful. I wanted to cry for people who were feeling distressed, lost and really cut up by their Divorces. I wanted to reach out to every hurting soul…but the blog was written in 2009 and I wasn’t sure actually of my response to the age-old question: “What does God think of Divorce?”

But now I am.

Here’s my 2 cents on this contentious topic:

I agree that the Bible should be followed. Hard as it may be (and believe me, it’s hard) I cant just ‘take bits out’ that I like from the Bible and ‘ignore other bits’ that I found too difficult to take on board and all I read on Divorce is not positive. What I understand from my bible is that when God puts two people together, He prefers if they stay that way.

Before I was divorced, I would have agreed with the preachy/judgemental (somewhat uncaring) Christians on the blog I saw – I myself would have said “You cant get divorced – it’s a sin!” and backed away in horror. But life changes, doesnt it? My divorce with Jon was indeed the most painful, thing I have ever in my life experienced…but through it, I think God’s changed me and helped me become a more open-minded person.

So I’m adding a HOWEVER to my previous statement about the Bible being followed. Actually… maybe not a ‘however’ and more of an ‘as a sidenote’

As a sidenote, I think that God and what He says supercedes the Bible. There are some things that aren’t in the Bible. I think this is because a book cant replace a person’s unique and very personal relationship with God.

Gods word is filled to overflowing with His love. With His forgiveness. With the incredible, grace-giving way God can take a person who has f**ked up and give them a fresh start. Make them new.

God is a God of second chances.

That’s the part I’m going to hold on to when I look at my engagement ring and think of a life with Alun.

So in response to the question “What does God think about divorce and remarriage?”

I can only hug that person tight, smile warmly into their face and say “Why dont you ask Him?”

Because each person is different. Each divorce story and possible re-marriage story is different. The only thing that remains the same in all this…is God.

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