I’m a lover not a fighter so I don’t like conflict.
But the weekend brought conflict to me and I dealt with it the best I could.
It started with Jack tagging me on a post about getting a million dollars if the person you tag is someone who’s always late.
Haha. Very funny.
So at first, I tried to joke about with it “I want half, then. Haha”
But Jack took it too far, telling me how unreliable I am, that I don’t consider others and that I ‘continually disappoint” him.
Continually, Jack?!? Really?
Because I go to nearly EVERYTHING you invite me to and if I’m late, it’s because I catch public transport to get to you so I’m doing my freaking best, mate.
His comments were hurtful and the worst part was that it was uncalled for. I legitimately do my very best, especially for Jack.
So I texted on his phone, not wanting anyone else to have access to the building argument between us.
“Are we okay, Jack?”
And the Jack I’ve known and loved for 3 years texted back “Just because some tea gets spilled between family doesn’t mean we won’t still love each other“
There you are, you scared me Jack.
I texted back “tears as I read this” (I was crying in relief, it had been such a stressful convo online) “Love you”
And you would think that would be the end of it but no, Jack texted AGAIN:
“DO YOU EVER CONSIDER THE FEELINGS OF ANYONE BUT YOURSELF?”
I swallowed down my anger. I was insulted and hurt. Why couldn’t you just leave it be, Jack? Why?
I texted back after taking 3 very deep breaths: “I try my best to consider your feelings at all times, Jack. If I didn’t consider you, I wouldn’t turn up to ANY events”
Please God, let that be the end of it.
Instant text back from Jack “You cancel all the time and you continually hurt me”
At this point, I’d had enough of his bollocks. I was hurting badly and didn’t want to talk to Jack any more. Maybe ever.
I texted back “Okay Jack. I’m sorry that I hurt you on the times I have cancelled and I’m sorry you are disappointed in me. I wish you a great 2021 (basically I was saying goodbye to him in the nicest way possible) and hope it’s filled with happiness”
Now then. That will stop the hurting, right?
Jack texted back “Not to be rude, Janet – but facts are facts and you don’t turn up to things and I get disappointed. But anyway. Hope 2021 is a good year for us all. You should turn up to things for you and not anyone else”
I can’t be dealing with mindgames, petty comments and manipulative bs.
So I sent Jack a screenshot of EVERY event he’s invited me to that I’ve attended. There were LOADS of them.
I included the word “FACTS” under each screen shot.
Facts ARE facts, Jack. I come to almost everything and when I can’t, it’s because I’m fighting a battle you know nothing about. You promised you understood. Every time I’ve had to cancel, YOU SAID IT WAS OKAY. Now this? Really? And for NO REASON because the last time I saw you was on Christmas day WHEN YOU INVITED ME TO YOUR HOME AND I WENT. So why this attack? Why?
After defending myself – which Jack had forced me into doing as his texts wouldn’t stop, I ended my messages with “Facts ARE facts, but you don’t have to be an asshole about it, Jack”
Hours went by before he messaged back.
“How about you just get over your fucking self, Janet?”
Okay. Enough. I can’t anymore with you. You’ve broken my heart. FOR NO REASON.
I messaged back “OK. End of friendship” and a ‘thumbs up’
Within seconds, the chat box said “user cannot be reached at this time” and I found out Jack had BLOCKED me on Facebook.
Just let me go like that.
He was fine to just draw a line through me.
Yes, I know I messaged “end of friendship” but thought this was where Jack (who had up until that point been more than happy to send a barrage of non-stop messages) would keep messaging. We’d fight it out, we’d calm down, we’d make up.
I am not okay with:
1) The attack for no reason at all 2) How Jack spoke to me
3) How I apologised but HE KEPT GOING with the insults and hurtful comments
4) How all of it was uncalled for – I hadn’t done a thing to deserve it
5) How Jack just BLOCKED me. I would never have done that to him and HE was the one in the wrong as far as I’m concerned.
None of this is okay with me.