Because of you, I don’t open the windows anymore

That’s what you said when you tried to break into my home, you said the shutters were open and that meant you could come in.

Let me assure you, having blinds open in a window – any window – is not an open invitation to jump someone’s gate and pound on their front door, demanding to be seen. When you did it, you scared me so badly and so deeply that even now – months and months later – I don’t leave the blinds open.

I go without natural sunlight in our front living room because I’m scared you’ll see a ‘sign’ to break past the boundaries Alun and I carefully erected so that you’ll get what you want.

What breaks my heart is that you don’t understand how scary you are.

When did you turn into a monster?

When did you become rude, selfish, demanding, dark and lean on threats and abuse to get what you want – regardless of the consequences?

When did you lose your way?

The last time we spoke, you told me I was a whore. You scared me and threatened me and wouldn’t leave when I asked you to. You rang again and again on my phone and left messages that made me fearful and anxious.

When did you stop being my friend?

It breaks my heart because I have always known you to be gentle. You’ve been quirky, yes – but I found that endearing. You’ve marched to the odd beat of your own drum and I’ve admired that. I’ve made space for you because you’ve always made time for me.

But that day…that awful day when you screamed my name at the front gate, then traversed over it when I didn’t come running – breaking the first boundary of safety and pounded on the front door, breaking the second boundary…then yelled threats into my answering program on my phone…you broke the third boundary. You broke my heart.

We have known each other 20 years, so when you said that the reason I get constantly fired from jobs (a very sore point with me that you know from the times I trusted you) was that I was the problem. I was the common denominator. How low of you to sink to something you knew would tear at my most vulnerable parts.

Disgraceful.

You are not a friend and you are no longer welcome at mine and Alun’s home.

Stay away from us.

Published by janetdthomas77

I'm the person who will go into a burning building to save everyone. I'm also the person likely to have started the fire by leaving a stupid scented candle unattended or something, so...you know.

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