"I get knocked down, but I get up again"

I saw on “Frasier” once that losing a job (in my case, being fired and escorted from the building like a criminal) is similar to losing someone you love – that’s how badly it can affect you and f*ck you up. You also go through the same 7 stages of grief when you lose a job that you go through when you lose someone you love – whether that’s because they passed away or if it’s a relationship that ended.

Hmm. I might pause here and do a quick Gooogle search on what the 7 stages actually are.

I’m back. Here they are:

The 7 stages of grief:
Shock and denial.
Pain and guilt.
Anger and bargaining.
Depression.
The upward turn.
Reconstruction and working through.
Acceptance and hope.

What I learnt when going through my divorce is that these stages aren’t linear. You don’t start at stage 1 and follow it through until stage 7; cross a finish line, collect a medal and go on about your day. No. The stages swing wildly back and forth in no order whatsoever.

Last night, I couldn’t sleep so I found myself swinging from pain and guilt “Omg I’m so upset about being fired, I feel so bad about this…what did I do to deserve this?” to anger “F**K you, Company! You all screwed me over and then literally kicked me out!!! I will sue you for every penny you have!!!” to depression “Why am I alive? I should kill myself because I can’t keep a freaking job – what is so hard about it that I struggle with the SAME damn issues over and over again?” back to Anger “I know, it’s because YOU *insert company name* f*ckers all put me here in this horrible limbo of unemployment!” “I hate you all and I will gleefully burn down your houses!!!” to acceptance and hope “I’m a great receptionist, actually. I work hard, I’m polite and courteous…they’re LUCKY to have had me” then back to anger “Those bastards!”

But I have to get back up. I have to keep moving forward.

My friend LW has this saying “the only way forward is through” and that’s apt for so many of the situations I face in my life. The only way to move forward is to experience the pain and uncertainty that goes with it and get through the murky, horrible bits until I am happy and well again…and in a new job.

So I’ll update my CV, reach out to recruiters all over the city to let them know I’m looking for work again (pleeeeease don’t ask me why, for the love of God) and I’ll do my best to have another job by the end of next week.

I can do this. I’ve done it before and I’ll do it again.

Just watch me.