"I get knocked down, but I get up again"

Yesterday I got fired from my job. In the “exit meeting” (they absolutely slaughtered me in it by the way), the HR person said they had ‘discovered’ this blog (discovered? Really?), read it, and were pretty pissed off about what I wrote. I was “strongly encouraged” not to write about work or my experiences there in future “or else”.

Or else what?!?

You’ve already fired me, guys. You’ve already had me at my lowest and then sucker punched me in the guts. It honestly can’t get any worse for me so HERE I AM.

Deal with it.

I wrote a blog called “Performance review – Before” and filled you guys in on what I was scared about – being bollocked and fired. Then I got bollocked and fired. I got asked (actually – I got threatened) to delete that specific blog – which at the time, I did immediately. But now that I’ve had a good night’s sleep, I think I should have left it up. It didn’t mention the company or any of the staff and it was written from MY point of view about MY feelings on the matter so you know what? They can’t sue for me for writing about a random company and MY PERSONAL FEARS about it.

So.

Here’s today’s blog. This is where I pull myself out of the gutter and I start again.

Guess what? YOU CAN’T STOP ME, random horrific, backstabbing Company and stupid HR bitches. I can write whatever I damn well please on MY OWN blog because I’m not naming you or the company. This could be about anyone.

If you’re so interested in my blog, belt up because I’m on fire today.

1. Imma be a’ight
2. I was fired over some pretty shoddy, unclear, messed up things and I’m not happy about that. I will do some research on employment Law and update you guys as I go along.
3. I already have interviews set up for next week with a few hopeful emails from companies looking for receptionists, so it wont’ be long before I’m employed and shining like a mother-effing diamond again.

I’ve asked for copies of any and all documents about me from that company. I want to read for myself why I got fired. I signed a lot of documents in the meeting last week and was not given copies so I feel I deserve to have those. I want to know what ‘evidence’ that awful bloody place had on firing me and I want to understand the employment system with regards to unfair dismissal and what I can do about it.

There was no room for anything yesterday in that tiny meeting room; being stared down at by my ex-boss and whatever HR person was there to “manage” me. The brutal attack lasted about 10 minutes and ended with the HR person “escorting” me to my desk and watching me with scrutiny as I packed up my desk.

Is that ok to do? Is that legally acceptable when you’ve already mentally and emotionally destroyed a person? Push them even further down into the mire?

What are the rules on putting an already suicidal person (they knew my mental health was not in a good place) at even greater risk by verbally attacking them in an office?

I will find out.

I will find a way to move on and move past this.

At the moment I admit, I’m floundering.

I’m really hurting. I feel lost, broken and really betrayed. Yesterday in that meeting where I was TERMINATED (I couldn’t think of a better word, really. It really did feel like they held a gun to my head and pulled the trigger while tears slipped down my cheeks and I silently accepted my fate) I felt incredibly ashamed. You guys absolutely ruined me. Bravo. Well done for destroying a vulnerable woman on her own with no back up. I don’t know why my first response was to be ashamed. I think being stared at and bollocked by my boss and a stranger in a tiny office far away from anyone’s desk all overwhelmed me. It was all so strange and so confronting. I was reeling from it hours after it happened.

Even when I woke this morning, I had to ask myself “did that really happen? Am I really fired?” because it was so shocking, it knocked me off my feet.

This girl will be okay, though. I’m going to spend time getting healthy, losing weight, working on my AMAZING MEMOIR and doing my best to laugh, smile, live and laugh with people who actually matter.

I can get another job – I’ll have one by next week.

You can’t get another me, though.

I’m excited to update you on my NEW job, new friends, new boss and new book deal.

Watch this space.

#strong #BulliesDontWin #blessed #Immabeaight